The Blue Alchemist
by FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom
Summary: A new state alchemist appears. And he's very, very... peculiar. Now that Roy is assigned this strange man, what hijinks will unfold? How many hotdogs can be stacked on the Colonel's head while he's asleep? ... And what is the man's true goal?
1. Chapter 1

The stout man clicked the heels of his shoes together, rose his left hand up lazily, and gave a half-hearted salute.

Roy raised a brow cynically.

"The left hand?"

"i'm left handed." The man offered the petty fact as a reason. Without much care, he shoved his hand back into his pants pocket. Roy let out an agitated huff. He shifted around the papers on his desk, muttering to himself and casting a curious glance or two at his new charge.

Finally he got a hold of the form he was looking for. It introduced the newcomer and offered a picture very similar to the image he could simply look at in person in front of him. Bandages covered his face almost entirely, only showing his…teeth and dark, dark eyes. Apparently the man suffered from an extreme case of lepper syndrome- a disease known for eating at flesh.

The man's posture left much to be questioned too. Slouched, his hands in his pockets, his feet practically making a straight line, spaced shoulder-length apart from underneath him. His hands were also covered in a thick pair of fur-lined gloves. Roy thought it was a bit too heavy for this weather. But then again, he had all his skin. The was also on the shorter side, probably not much taller than Edward. Which was incredibly short for a 30-something year old. He was also on the wider side, but that could be just because of his broad shoulders and short stature.

The man didn't seem to mind the time it took for Roy to respond. In fact, he seemed to be….falling asleep.

Roy rolled his eyes and took a look at the record.

 **Sans T. Skell**

 **Age: 32**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Rank: Major (State Alchemist)**

 **Despite obvious physical limitations, has proven to be incredibly knowledgeable in alchemy. Until further directions, shall be placed under the supervision of Colonel Roy Mustang.**

"So… Major Skell." Roy said, looking up from the paper. The man was fast asleep on his feet. Roy's eye twitched a little and he cleared his throat, then raised his voice. "MAJOR SKELL!"

"huh-what?" Sans stood upright and look around, yawned, and slouched again "well i guess i'm awake now."

Roy twitched. He could already tell this man was certainly going to be work. "You're a State Alchemist, correct? Did they issue you a codename?"

Sans shrugged "yep. 'the blue alchemist'."

"The Blue Alchemist?" Roy repeated, raising a brow. "Why?"

Sans shrugged again "because my go-to coat is blue."

Roy couldn't stop the annoyed groan from escaping him.

Sans replied with a low chuckle, a slight tilt of his head, and a wink "wow, you certainly _blue_ it, huh?"

Another annoyed groan from Roy as he smacked his face against the desktop.

"wow. i certainly got the best superior to ask for, huh? so professional." Sans said with a shrug. Roy glowered at him.

"I sense a bit of sarcasm there." He growled.

"i'll be blunt then." Sans said "we both know why they assigned me to you. i'm useful enough they want to keep me around but not so useful that they're fine giving me to a possible traitor."

All sense of humor left suddenly. Roy narrowed his eyes "Whatever do you mean by that?" he reached under his desk and pulled on a glove. "Please, elaborate."

Sans's voice was void of all humor. "I mean I know what you're up to." A knowing wink "You want to overthrow the government. I know." His eyes darted to the side and his grin grew wider "And frankly, I want in."

…

"Nothing to say to that? Fine, I'll elaborate. You want to overthrow this government, I'll help you. But you have to throw in a little presidential act for me-"

"Or what?" Roy interrupted, his tone darkening at the threat. This man, Sans, clearly knew. Clearly had some sort of evidence. Clearly a threat. But also a potential asset. After all, Roy knew his tracks were very, very, well covered. For someone to be able to figure him out so easily….

Plus, there were too many variables. Sans could have already told someone, already leaked information. Now just here as a sort of spy. Then again, what would be his motives?

"I guess I won't hold anything against you." Sans shrugged "I just want your reassurance for one thing." His tone became oddly…dark _"I want you to eliminate persecution."_

Persecution. The bandages. A lepper-

Oh.

Roy relaxed a bit, not too much. Still ready to set the man in front of him on fire without a moment's notice. "That was in my initial plan to begin with." He said carefully.

"sweet." All weight suddenly left Sans's voice. He yawned loudly "welp. nice to be workin with ya, corn kernel."

Roy narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something

"i'm not gonna tell anyone. if i do, then i lose my best chance at this." He turned and began to exit the office but gave a brief glance over his shoulder "and if you're that worried, have your lieutenant shoot me."

He left before Roy could get another word in.

* * *

 **I'm just kinda leaving this here. Don't have much planned for it as of yet as this scene was just kinda floating around so I wrote it. If you want more, please say so. I'll start updating this as soon as my other Undertale Fic (Threads) is done.**


	2. Chapter 2

Mustang woke with a yawn, stretching his arms out above his head. Sunlight filtered annoyingly onto his face and he mumbled in protest, rolling out of his bed.

It didn't take long for him to get showered, dressed, and on his way. He didn't bother with his hair. Why would he? It looked amazing as it was. Yawning, he went outside and stopped on his doorstep.

Oh yeah, his car was at the shop. Ah well, he was going to be late anyway. Might as well enjoy a nice walk.

Roy took to a leisurely trot, clearly not in any rush but not moving so slow it looked like he was not trying to go anywhere. The summer heat boiled down on him, but the disciplined, fire- knowing man he was didn't mind too much. Besides, in the morning it wasn't too bad. On his way to work he passed by a well-worn, but homely, newsstand run by a lovely woman.

"Hey Alice." Roy chirped, leaning on the cart. "How are you this morning?"

Alice giggled, her dirty-blonde curls cascading over her shoulders, bouncing slightly with her laugh. "I'm great, thanks Roy." She cooed. She started to go through her papers "Need anything today?"

"Just your lovely smile." Roy grinned.

"Are you sure?" Alice purred. Roy kept his grin but felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge.

"Hmmm…. Why, what would you suggest?" he asked.

Alice leaned toward him with a smile, walking her fingers up his arm "Oh, I wouldn't mind if you actually bought something for once."

Roy leaned into the touch "Well I guess I'll buy a paper, then." He said. Alice giggled girlishly, straightening Roy's collar a moment before ducking into her stand, fetching one of her papers. She dropped the bundle onto the counter and shot Roy a grin. "300 cens, please."

"Wow, you sure enjoy bleeding me dry." Roy sighed.

Alice tilted her head with a wink "You have to pay extra for extra services."

"Fair enough." Roy sighed. He dug into his pockets and gave her the desired amount.

"Thank you!" she chirped. "Have a nice day, Roy!"

"Bye Alice." Roy waved lazily, walking away with his newspaper tucked under his arm. After several yards, he turned into an alley and reached into his collar. It took a few minutes of poking and prodding but eventually he caught the edge of a small piece of paper. He hooked in and tugged it out, reading the miniscule writing.

' _General Leonard is having an affair. Someone named Rachel Hearth.'_

Roy sighed. No wonder Alice was giving him such a cold shoulder, she hated delivering such irrelevant intelligence. He made a mental note to get her something later. Some flowers or something. He narrowed his eyes and scanned the writing again, committing it to memory. Wouldn't do for someone to realize he had eyes everywhere, hm?

With a light click of his fingers, he converted the paper to ash and set it to scatter about. He dusted his hands off and straightened his collar. With a slight melodramatic turn, he stepped back onto the street-

Well, almost.

His new charge was standing in the alley's opening, hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.

"hey corn kernel." He chirped.

"Major Skell." Roy said. He didn't have to force the irritated expression. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"shouldn't you?" he responded. Not angrily, just with the tone of someone making an obvious statement.

"I…suppose." Roy muttered. Sans gave a wink and threw his head back in the direction Roy had just come from.

"got in a fight with your friend there?"

Roy shrugged. "Eh. She's a bit mad at me for never buying anything."

Sans responded with an understanding shrug. "i get it. i know someone who gets a bit cranky when you don't buy her pastries." He winked "like it _batters_ , right?"

Roy twitched slightly. He decided to not respond to the pun and addressed something else "So why are you so late?"

Sans tapped one gloved hand to his face "i had to change these. wearing the same bandages everyday is gross." he once again subtly evaded the question.

Roy rose an eyebrow cynically "Don't you have someone to help you with that?"

"rude." Sans responded curtly "i like to think i can take care of myself. that's why i got a job, y'know?"

Roy frowned. "Right. So-"

"i overslept." He answered the question before it was asked. Sans gave another wink "hey, let's walk to work together. make us both not look as bad."

Roy didn't have much of a choice, as it was Sans insisted when he refused. So they went on their way.

* * *

"Now we have two slackers here." Havoc mumbled, scribbling on his paperwork. Next to him, Sans snored loudly, and on the other side of the room, Roy did too.

Riza nodded in agreement and gave Sans a light tap on his shoulder. "Major Skell."

Sans blinked open his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms out in front of him. He smacked his…teeth, probably, and rubbed at the small space between his bandages and eyes. "what's up, chicken hawk?" he addressed the first lieutenant.

Riza made a face for a brief second that usually only Mustang would be able to interpret.

"alright. not chicken hawk." Sans said. He winked. "i'll think of a different nickname for ya."

"I'd prefer if you didn't." Riza said curtly.

"alright Riza." Sans responded. He put his chin on his hand while the remaining people in the room looked at him wide-eyed.

"You just called her Riza." Fuery blinked. Outside the office, it'd be fine. But at work you need a lot of nerve-

"well that's her name and she said she didn't want a nickname." Sans said without a care. Riza rolled her eyes and went back to work. Sans seemed indifferent, shifting his attention to the rest of them. "do you want nicknames?"

The four men gave him a strange look. Falman spoke up first "Sure?"

"great." Sans huffed, clearly not feeling great "hold on." He zoned out, staring at the wall and then turned his head toward Roy and completely changed the subject. "does he usually sleep at work?"

"Do you?" Havoc muttered in response.

"yep." Sans said curtly. He got up and reached under his desk, eventually disappearing altogether.

"Major Skell?" Fuery blinked, looking under the desk just as Sans remerged, carrying a tote bag of sorts.

"yep." He responded, scooting out from under and dragging the bag over to Roy.

"What…are you doing?" Falman asked. Sans put one gloved fingers to his…er, lips, maybe. He knelt by his bag and unzipped it, then reached in and took out a… hot dog.

Carefully, filled with preciseness most would think impossible, he placed it on the sleeping colonel's head. Then he reached down and placed another one on top of that one. Then another. Another.

"What are you doing?" Falman repeated, watching the strange man work with dumbstruck eyes. Even Hawkeye got caught up in watching as the hot dog tower grew taller.

"balancing hotdogs on his head." Sans answered, placing about the tenth one. The tower wobbled a moment and Sans held his breath until it steadied out. He sighed out in relief a moment and reached into his bag. Then he put another hot dog on Roy's head.

"Why do you have so many hotdogs?" Breda asked.

"i sell 'em sometimes." Sans said as another 'dog was added to the tower.

Roy muttered, twisting his head slightly and the tower fell on top of him. Sans slipped his hands into his pockets and counted the tumbling hot dogs out loud.

"twelve? not bad." Sans said. Roy yelled something inaudible, muffled by the now-a-pile of hotdogs around his head. He threw himself out of it and glared daggers into Sans.

"What the hell was that?" he growled.

"i was stacking hotdogs on your head." Sans said simply as if this was all the explanation one would need.

"WHY?" Roy snapped.

"to see how many hotdogs you could balance." The strange man kept the monotone in his voice, completely unfazed by Roy's reaction. Behind him, his team started snickering. Even Riza gave a small smile.

Roy mumbled under his breath and combed his fingers through his hair, trying to dislodge random bits of bun and meat.

"Do you need a comb, sir?" Riza asked from her desk.

Roy muttered a 'yes' and turned his attention back to Sans "So why so many hotdogs?"

"not just hotdogs." Sans said. He gave a wink and Roy mentally prepared himself. "i have hot _cats_ too."

Needless to say, Roy was not impressed.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! You people really seem to want more of this, huh? Well, here you go. Don't expect this to be updated REGULARALY until Threads is done, though. This story will have random updates until further notice ('Threads' is usually updated on Wednesdays). I guess it's better than nothing though, huh?**

 **ALSO THE SHIFTING REVIEWED THIS. (Squees loudly). In case you guys didn't know, The Shifting wrote the only other FMA-Undertale Fic on this site. It's great and I love it!**

 **Thank you and please leave me a comment!**

 **Tra la la, there's a record to beat.**


	3. Chapter 3

General Leonard, a man in his late forties, stumbled home in the creeping darkness of dusk. Street lines shone yellow, illuminating the dark streets. The man himself was drunk as a dog, his eyes glazed over and his face red because of the alcohol's influence. He fumbled with the keys in his pants' pocket and then struggled to get it into the lock and open the door. The man drunkenly stumbled in, but then came to a halt.

An eye shown blue in the dark.

" _General Leonard, I assume?"_ said a low voice, echoing in the dark with a whisper. Leonard slowly moved his hand for his gun.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" he asked slowly, forcing a chipper tone to his voice. The eye seemed to find this amusing, squinting a little in joy.

" _Seems like you're getting a bit chummy with Rachel, eh?"_

Leonard took a step back but put a grin on his face "Oh, is that what this is about?"

" _Not quite_!" cooed the voice, beginning to bob in pitch. The blue eye shifted and locked itself onto Leonard's gaze " _Besides me, have you seen any_ …" it waited a moment to continue, leaving an unnerving moment of silence _"oddities?"_

Leonard didn't respond.

" _That expression…"_ murmured the voice _"…it suggest you may know what I'm talking about."_

"I don't!" Leonard spat. The eye squinted again.

" _Oh, getting defensive? Calm down, Len-nerd."_ The voice chuckled a bit at its insult. _"Just keep a few things in mind, eh? One: I can kill you, I can kill you easily."_

"Oh-"

" _ **DON'T**_ _**INTERUPT**_." The voice gained a thunderous effect but quickly quieted to its normal volume _"It's rude to interrupt. Two: I won't kill you. No good to me dead, are ya? Three: it'd be ideal for both of us if you just told me what I want to know."_

Silence followed.

" _Understood?"_

"Yeah, I understand!" Leonard growled, drawing his gun and shooting. The blue eye flickered out and the general allowed himself to sigh in relief. Sweat slicked down his forehead and he breathed heavily, aiming to calm himself. He turned, moving to turn on the light and figure out who, or what, he just shot.

He turned his head and screamed.

The glowing eye was hardly a comfortable distance in front of him. Leonard felt a painfully hot feeling in his chest and he was thrown upward and suspended there. A glowing blue heart levitated in front of him. Cold, fleshless, fingers pried the gun from his trembling hand.

" _Shooting people is rude."_ The voice said as the gun fell with a _clunk!_ _"Now… tell me what you know before I tear your life apart."_ The eye squinted in a smile _"Literally or figuratively."_

Leonard shook, trembling too much to even flail.

"Uh- I-" the pressure in his chest tightened and he screamed out: "I don't know! I heard rumors one of the state's labs took a creature into custody!"

" _ **WHICH LAB!?"**_

"I don't know! That's all I heard, I promise!" Leonard howled as tears and snot streamed down his face. Suddenly, he fell to the floor, the lights turned on, and he was alone.

Save for one used bullet.

* * *

"Hey Colonel, did you hear?" Havoc said, leaning heavily on his arm as he absent-mindedly scribbled on his paperwork, a cigarette hanging half-burnt and smothered in his mouth "Apparently General Leonard was having an affair."

Roy tensed only slightly, making sure to relax before anyone noticed. Aside from his lieutenant, anyway. And not to his knowing, his strange charge. "Really?" he asked while twirling his pen, putting up a façade of disinterest.

"Yeah. Apparently a friend of his wife's caught him cheating." Havoc waved him off.

"And you have nothing better to do then listen to office gossip?" Roy retorted. His eyes darted over to Riza, who understood immediately.

"Well… I guess not." Havoc muttered. Sans nudged him and gave him one of his well-known-at-this-point grins.

"hey if you're that lonely, you can hang out with me after school." He said.

"Oh, thanks- School?" Havoc frowned. Fuery chuckled a bit, being silenced quickly by Havoc's glare. Sans shrugged, winking one eye.

"yeah. y'know. after mr colonel let's us outta' class, we can hang out by the malt shop or something." He said, giggling slightly near the end of his sentence.

"We're not in school." Havoc muttered. Sans raised his hand.

"mr. colonel, jeanie's being a meanie." He complained. Roy shot him a glare that didn't faze him and Fuery burst out laughing. Sans seemed content with this and lowered his arm, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smile.

"I suppose you're the class clown, huh Sans?" Roy muttered.

"riza, colonel's calling me names." Sans said in monotone, turning to her. Riza tilted her head with an amused smile, and in a split second, decided to play along.

"Colonel, stop calling Major Skell names." She said. Sans's grin grew wider and his eyes seemed to grow brighter.

"What-" Roy mumbled. He raised his voice "Lieutenant-!"

"Don't _flame_ me for this, sir." Riza spoke curtly, turning her attention back to the papers in front of her. Sans chuckled under his breathe, trying to hide it with one gloved hand.

"Lieutenant, was that a pun?" Roy muttered. Riza nodded. "When did you decided you hate me?"

"I don't, sir." Riza said. Sans shot her a grin and she felt compelled to return it with a smile.

"Alright…" Roy muttered.

"hey."

"What is it, Major Skell?" Roy muttered through his gritted teeth.

" y'know you're a _roy_ -yal pain sometimes." He said, looking at Riza with a grin. She rolled her eyes, with a slight smile, and went back to her work. The other people in the room all shared a giggle.

Roy mumbled under his breathe and slouched into his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

After awhile, it was time for lunch. Everyone left for the cafeteria, chattering about random pointless topics. Sans trailed behind Breda, Havoc, Fuery and Falman and Roy went to follow them.

"Sir, you didn't finish your paperwork yet." She said. Roy rolled his eyes.

"I can do it later."

"Sir."

Roy sighed in defeat and went back to his desk. "Fine." He began scribbling on his papers for a moment or two as Riza went about closing the door and pretending to glance around the room.

"I believe it's clear to talk, sir."

"Good." Roy said, he dropped his pen and leaned over his desk. "How do you think the word got out about Leonard?"

"Sir, I believe you're being paranoid." Riza said with a slight frown "This probably had nothing to do with Alice's intelligence. Mrs. Leonard just stumbled upon it herself."

Roy drummed his fingers along the top of the desktop. "I don't think so. I get the feeling it has _something_ to do with Alice."

"Sir." Riza frowned. "Perhaps… was there anyone else around when you got that intel?"

Roy tapped his head with a fingers, lost in thought "No. I guess the new Major was around, but that was after I burned it. I don't understand how he could've done anything…" he trailed off, hammocking his chin in his intertwined fingers. "He does move oddly quietly. But still, it must've been impossible for him to have read it."

"Is it?" Riza frowned.

Roy didn't know how to respond to that and this left the room in a tense silence as the two pondered the strange man. Sans, the Blue Alchemist who seemed to put little to no effort into everything besides his poor excuse for comedy. Speaking of which…

"So what was that earlier?" Roy muttered.

"Excuse me?" Riza blinked. Roy stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms childishly.

"You and Skell teamed up on me." Roy muttered. Riza flashed a small smile but quickly regained her expressionless composure.

"Yessir." She said "I believed it to be helpful in improving morale, sir."

Roy rolled his eyes "Is this payback for leaving you with my paperwork last week?"

"Most likely, sir."

Roy mumbled his agreement.

"And quite frankly sir, I found those jokes…." She chuckled briefly "Pun-derful."

"LIEUTENANT!" Roy gasped, complete appalled.

"I apologize." Riza said with a slight smile.

"No you don't." Roy muttered. He wasn't aware his stoic lieutenant liked puns so much. Perhaps he should keep that in mind for a rainy day. When he was useless and didn't want to be reminded of it.

Meanwhile, Sans and his group were almost to the building's cafeteria.

"Wait, lunch time, we're heading to a cafeteria…" Havoc mumbled.

"It's like we _are_ in school!" Fuery exclaimed, his eyes growing wide.

"This is stupid." Breda muttered.

"STUPID? I don't want to be back in school!" Falman said.

"Wait, is all that paperwork our school work?" Fuery said, tilting his head to the side.

"And I guess all the time the Colonel makes Havoc stay after hours is detention." Breda commented with a shrug.

"WAIT!?" Havoc gasped. He pointed to himself "I'M the troublemaker?"

"Seems so." Falman nodded.

"Or maybe the Colonel is just the school bully." Fuery added helpfully.

"So that makes the Lieutenant…" Breda contemplated. The entire group (with the exception of a bandaged alchemist) shuddered.

"She's the Disciplinary Officer." They all (besides Sans) whimpered.

Sans chuckled to himself at the commotion he caused.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **How do you all feel about Riza x Sans? Good? Too bad, I don't ship it. Just for future reference, my major ships are Royai, Soriel, Alphyne, and HavocxRebecca. BUT! If you don't like any of those ships, never fear! I don't focus too much on them so you can probably glance over them or interpret them as friendship or whatever.**

 **Also I headcannon Riza likes stupid jokes.**

 **Tra La La, the other Sanses call this one 'Boots'.**


	4. Chapter 4

Edward looked up at the door to the Colonel's office, a small frown set on his lips and his suitcase thrown over his shoulder. Alphonse stood beside him, waiting for him to muster up the nerve to go inside.

They just got back from Lysteria, a small, boondocks town that was just a few miles left of the middle of nowhere. Apparently, there had been an alchemist there with knowledge about the Philosopher's Stone so the brothers had gone to investigate. Which, by the armored appearance of the younger brother, had come up fruitless.

And Edward, at the sensitive age of fourteen, didn't feel like having that failure rubbed in his face. His golden eyes darted over to Alphonse and then to his shoes. His shoulders rose and fell in a deep breath and his eyes sharpened into their normal glare. He put one hand on the door… to find it was already open?

"hey, noticed you were having a bit of trouble." Said an unknown voice. Its owner was pushing the door open, standing to one side to allow them to pass. Ed raised a brow at the man's peculiar, bandaged, appearance and Al jumped, startled as it was he hadn't noticed the small man (okay, he was a bit taller than Ed. But …yeah, small.)

"Having a bit of trouble with _what_?" Ed mumbled.

"opening the door." Said the man, winking through his mask "or were you just…. _A-dooring_ , it?"

…

"Was that a FUCKING PUN-!?" Ed snapped. The man chuckled to himself and shrugged.

"nah. just a normal pun." He said. Ed decided not to read too deep into that as the man held out his left hand. "nice to meet ya, kid. name's sans. sans t skell." Ed glared daggers into Sans's offered hand and Al fidgeted.

"My name's Alphonse Elric." He said politely "This is my brother, Edward."

"elric, huh?" Sans said, glancing at Al but still offering Ed his hand. "so…." He looked back at Ed "you must be the fullmetal alchemist?"

A grin stretched over Ed's face and he put a hand on his hip. "Yeah! _I_ am the FullMetal Alchemist!"

"Wow. Good job, Mr. Skell." Alphonse said "Usually people think _I'm_ the FullMetal Alchemist."

"well, you are wearing armor." Sans shrugged "that's probably why." His hand was still being extended to Ed. Now, with his ego fed, Edward returned the hand shake. Which was interrupted by a loud, farting noise to which Sans laughed to for a good moment. He put his hand back into his pocket as Ed stared, confused "ah, the ol' whoopee-cushion-in-the-glove trick." His eyes squinted up in his smile "it's ALWAYS funny."

Ed was back to being annoyed, shooting a death-threatening glare at Alphonse when he laughed.

"S-sorry Brother. It was kind of funny…." Al chuckled. Sans winked up at Al and then turned his attention back to Ed.

"but yeah kid, don't worry about it. my little brother is twice my height too." He said with a shrug.

Ed narrowed his eyes, grinding his teeth "Are you calling me _smaaallll…?"_

"nah." Sans said "i'm calling your brother big."

Ed had never gotten such an indifferent, calm response. So. He didn't know what to say and simply stared. Sans took this as an invitation to keep talking.

"so, anyway. i'm the blue alchemist and i work for corn kernel now." Sans shrugged.

"…Wait. Corn-Kernel?" Ed blinked.

"yep." Sans winked.

Ed broke into laughter. "That's HILARIOUS!" Al chuckled slightly behind him.

"Hehe- Well, Mr. Skell, we actually need to talk to the…Corn-Kernel right now." Al said.

"cool. i do too." Sans said. "come on, let's go see 'im."

He turned and went into the door. The brothers exchanged a look but then decided to follow Sans into the office, where he seemed to be doing…something. Roy's team watched intently, exchanging words and money as Sans worked.

"Hey." Ed blinked "Are you stacking hotdogs on his head?"

Sans winked at him. "yep. his record is twelve." He slowly put on another 'dog. This tower must've been fairly new, as there was only about three hotdogs on the sleeping Colonel's head.

"Twelve, huh?" Ed murmured. Al sighed, knowing where his brother's train of thought was about to go. Ed threw his suitcase onto the ground and put his hands on his hips, grinning. "'I can beat that!"

He must've said that a bit too loudly as Mustang jerked awake, causing his small tower to collapse on top of him again. Roy muttered some choice words under his breath and glared at Sans.

"Again?"

"yeah." Sans said with a shrug. He waved over to Ed and Al. "the kids wanted to see ya."

Roy mumbled something and glanced at Edward and Alphonse, beckoning them over with a slight twitch of his hands. Sans lightly nudged Ed as he passed and gave a sly wink.

"FullMetal." Roy mumbled, his eyes still narrowed at Sans as he made himself comfortable next to Riza. She nodded her head at the boys then went back to her work. Havoc and the others proceeded to exchange money. Apparently a bet was made and Breda won.

"Colonel." Ed greeted.

"So I see you've met Major Skell." He drew the name out over grinding his teeth. Ed took this as he didn't like Sans and his grin grew wider.

"Yeah. He's great." Ed chirped, raising one eyebrow to indicate his smug attitude.

"He seems to really like puns." Al commented with a nod of his helmet.

"I noticed." Roy mumbled. He berated himself softly for a moment and then began to mess with a pen "So, how was your mission?"

Ed rolled his eyes and lightly tapped Al's arm "How do you think?"

"Yeah, I know." Roy said with a light shrug. "Did you write up a report, at least?"

Ed pouted, muttering a soft 'no'.

"Well get on it." Roy said. He waved his hand in dismissal and left it at that. The brothers exchanged a look and Ed turned back to him.

"That's it?" he blinked "Nothing else to comment?"

"No." Roy said sharply. "You can leave now- GOD DAMMIT SKELL KNOCK IT OFF!" he turned and snapped as the small sneaky man was peaking over his desk, slowly raising a hotdog to his head. Sans grinned up at him.

"come on corn kernel, it's on me." He winked as he put the 'dog on Roy's head "okay i lied, it's on you."

Roy twitched and according to the soft chuckles from behind them and how Sans seemed content, this was normal by now. Ed's lips turned up in a smirk as Al tried hard not to let his giggles be heard. Roy angrily brushed off the hotdog and mumbled choice words under his breath as Sans shrugged to his audience. When Edward opened his mouth to say something probably being an insult, he was interrupted by the bandaged alchemist once again.

"y'said you can beat roy's 'dog tower record. right?" he winked "how 'bout we give it a go?"

Roy glared at Sans and Ed noticed with a smirk. Apparently the more this guy talked, the more Roy was annoyed. So! He was all for it!

"Got it!" Ed grinned "What was his record again? Ten?"

"twelve." Sans corrected. "you can sit down or stand up. but just keep the hotdogs balanced."

Ed shot Roy a defiant glare "Got it."

Sans nodded and carried over his tote bag. Ed crossed his arms over his chest, grinning at Al as he took a step back to watch Sans work. The first hotdog was added. Shortly after, another. Bets were once again being made amongst the four lesser-ranked men. After several minutes, Edward had easily surpassed twelve. But Sans didn't seem too intent on stopping just yet, as he pulled a chair over and kept going, and then when the chair wouldn't suffice, dragged Alphonse over and stood on his shoulders. Ed kept shooting Roy smug looks, as if somehow this made him better than the colonel. The said man huffed, twitching slightly while he silently chided himself for actually caring.

"twenty-nine." Sans said, putting his hands in his pockets while still balancing on Al's shoulders. He winked down on Ed "nice."

"Come on! Balance more!" Ed grinned.

Sans shook his head "can't kiddo." He tapped the ceiling "no more space."

Ed pouted. "Oh."

The lesser-ranked men exchanged bets. Apparently two bets were made, as Havoc got a large sum but then Fuery demanded he get money as well. Havoc grudgingly gave him some.

"So how do you get the hotdogs off my head?" Ed asked.

"easily." Sans said. He gave a light kick of his foot and the tower collapsed on top of him. Not completely submerging Edward, but certainly being annoying. Roy burst out into laughter.

"For once, Skell…" he said in between laughs "You managed to make my day."

Sans winked at him "i love ya' too, roy-boy."

Roy went back to being annoyed with him. Al gently lifted Sans off of his shoulders and went to put him down-…

But he was asleep.

By this time, Edward had surfaced from the hotdogs and threw several at Roy before shooting a glare at Sans, only for his expression to twist into confusion. The boy went over and lightly tapped the man's arm.

"He fell asleep?" he half-asked, half-stated.

"Yeah." Al blinked, still holding the man who seemed to be sleeping contently.

"Skell." Roy muttered "Wake up and get to work." He didn't get a response and his lieutenant sighed.

"Sans, stop pretending to sleep, please." She said. Still no response. Riza tilted her head and blinked her brown eyes "…I suppose he actually _is_ sleeping."

"I guess." Al said. Ed shrugged and jabbed a thumb at Sans's desk.

"Just drop 'im off and let's go." He said.

Al nodded "All right-" He tried to pull Sans away to find the strange man had more or less fastened himself onto his armor. Somehow Al managed to sweat nervously "He won't come off."

"What?" Ed blinked. He furrowed his brows and muttered choice words, wrapping his arms around Sans's torso and giving a tug. The bandaged alchemist stayed put.

"Well that's not working." Al commented. Roy rolled his eyes.

"Just take him home with you and send him back later." He muttered, waving them off "I don't feel like dealing with any of you anyway."

Riza shot him a glare and then addressed the boys "If you would, boys." She asked.

Al nodded "Alright we can do that, right Brother- Brother?"

Ed's eyes were wide as he stared at the sleeping man. Did he imagine it?

"Brother?" Al asked again. Ed shook his head.

"Yeah, I'm good. Let's go and bring the moron with us." He turned and walked briskly away before anyone could say anything else to him. He smacked his hands on either side of his face and tried to train his attention elsewhere.

Everyone had ribs, what was so weird about him being able to feel Sans's?

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Here ya go! Another lovely chapter. The Elrics meet Sans! Yay! Ed seems to be figuring something out on his own, though….**

…

 **Tra La La, he is dreaming of Papyrus.**


	5. Chapter 5

Suddenly, he was back in Snowdin.

His skull was nestled in between the neck and shoulder of the one who carried him, who chattered profusely as they made their way. A red streak of fabric whipped about like a cape right in front of his eye sockets and he felt even more tired. But peacefully so.

His eyes were half-open and he felt loser than usual, free of the constraints of bandages and the disguise he had adorned himself with. His arms hung loosely over that broad shoulder and snow teased his face with its peppered cold. But, having no skin, it didn't bug him that much.

"SERIOUSLY SANS, I'M BEGINNING TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR SLEEPING HABITS." Said the all too familiar voice. Sans responded with a yawned 'mm-hmm' and sunk even deeper into relaxation. He didn't quite _sleep_ but it was nice to stay still.

"HOWEVER AM I SUPPOSE TO HANDLE YOU, BROTHER?" sighed the voice "Brother-"

Sans tensed. The voice became so much gentler, softer, _younger._

His eyes snapped open to stare at a dark, unknown ceiling. Instinctively, his eye lit up as he threw his legs over the couch he was on. The sound of clanking metal in the other room drew his attention and he quickly calmed down, forcing the blue magic in his eye to smother. The sound's owner gently shut a door behind him and turned, letting out a quick _eep_ of surprise.

"Oh, Mr. Skell." Sighed Alphonse, clutching onto the area where his heart should've been "You scared me."

"sorry, kiddo." Sans shrugged. He looked around "i'm gonna make a safe guess and say we're in your house?"

"Yeah." Al nodded "You kind of fell asleep and clung onto me for awhile-" Sans dismissed him with a quick wave.

"i put it together. i'm always fallin' asleep like that." He said. Al nodded his understanding and Sans pocketed his hand again, his eyes focusing on something that wasn't there. Makes since he fell asleep.

He hadn't been carried so easily and carefully since-

"Mr. Skell?" Al said slowly, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sans shook it of casually and shrugged.

"sorry. must still be half 'sleep." He said.

"Oh." Alphonse replied. He fidgeted a moment and poked his fingers together "Uh, well. You can stay here tonight. If you want."

"thanks kiddo." Sans said. He shrugged "can't tho. need to go home and change these out." He tapped on his mask of bandages for emphasis. Al nodded understandably.

"Do you want me to walk you home, then?" he asked "It's pretty late out."

"nah." Sans shook his head. "i'm good."

"Are you sure?"

Sans shot Al a look and held it for a moment. The boy was clearly worried for him. Made sense considering the guise he put himself under. And the fact he practically passed out. The small skeleton decided to try and change the subject.

"where's your brother?" he asked, looking around.

"Sleeping." Al said "So it's alright if I walk you back to your house real quick."

"dontcha' need to sleep?" he asked, arching a magically-appearing eyebrow. He already knew the answer, but apparently shaking this kid's attention was easier said than done.

Al shook his head again "Don't worry, I'm not tired."

"i can walk myself home." Sans sighed, realizing there was really no point in trying to avert this kid's intent.

"Are you sure?" the boy repeated. Sans couldn't help but crack a smile. Despite having a much, much softer voice this kid reminded him of…

He frowned.

"Mr. Skell?" came the sound of his lazy alias. Maybe next time he'll name himself 'Al Ias."

"i'm good kiddo, really." He lied. Alphonse was giving him the whole 'must protect' vibe and he wanted to leave him as soon as he could so it wouldn't stick. Alphonse fidgeted, clearly not convinced.

"I'll go with you." He said. And that was it. Afterwards, Sans tried to shake his decision several times as they left what turned out to be a room and then left the hotel. But alas, despite his efforts, there was no changing this boy's decision. Once they were halfway to the crummy apartment Sans had gotten himself, he tried a few more times to get the kid to leave. It didn't work.

" _THIS_ is where you live?" the boy sounded both surprised and disgusted. Sans shrugged. The place he had claimed as his own was a more or less a decomposing, one-room structure of mold and old wood. The carpet was worn thin with all the feet that had trampled it over the years and a large stain took up the majority of the wall. Squashed against the far wall from the door was a mattress thrown on the floor, the sheets a messy tangle of grease and cloth. Next to the door itself was a worn-down and mildly depressing kitchen with off-set cabinets and a rusty refrigerator. The sink was filled with dirty dishes and the garbage filled with smelly trash. A circular coffee table was haphazardly on its side and papers and books scattered the floor around it. The only other room in the apartment was a small bathroom crammed behind a small splintered door.

"well, thanks." Sans said, waving to Al over his shoulder as he went inside. The armored boy came into the house without his invitation, probably not even thinking about it. Sans rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him. Alphonse made himself busy picking up and organizing papers, setting the table straight and using his alchemy to fix up some of the household appliances. Sans sat cross-legged on his bed, waiting for him to leave and feeling his figurative heart sink lower and lower. In his mind's eyes, Alphonse's bulky figure was replaced by the slender, yet broad-shouldered, form of a rambling skeleton.

He really wanted the boy to leave right now.

…

But at the same time he didn't.

Eventually though, all the hard work of watching must've worn him out, as he woke up to a now-clean blanket tucked around his small form and his apartment generally neat and tidy. Many things had been fixed together with alchemy, the floor didn't creak, the walls seemed sturdy. Sans yawned and rolled over, scratching at his dirty bandages. He really should change those. Seemed like the kid didn't bother to when he was intrusively cleaning. Which, he supposed, was a good thing. When he finally pushed himself up and off his bed, he found a note and a roll of clean bandages on the now-upright table.

 _Good Morning Mr. Skell_

 _I'm sorry I barged in like that. It didn't really click with me that may have been rude until I already fixed everything up. Again, sorry! But I hope you find your home nicer to live in now! If you need anything else, please tell me or Ed. We'll help in any way we can!_

 _Alphonse_

 _P.S. I don't know how to change your bandages and I thought it'd be better if I didn't mess with it. I'm sorry._

Sans chuckled to himself and put down the note. Too late to not like the kid now.

He made sure the door was locked and the curtains were drawn, then he ripped off the bandages and splashed some water against his skull. Wearing those damn things were giving him a rash or something. Then he opened his fridge to find it cleaned out, the old food thrown away somewhere and some nice fresh groceries in their place. The kid really went all out, huh? Luckily for him, Alphonse thought bringing him some ketchup would be nice. Not as much as we would've wanted, but it'll do. He kicked the fridge door shut and returned to his mattress, flopping down on it back-first.

The old rusty, and slightly decayed ceiling fan was fixed and working like a dream, beating down cool air on his skull. He closed his eye sockets and listened to the sound of the fan's wind whistling through his teeth. One still-gloved hand fumbled with the bottle cap a moment, then he took a long swig from it.

After a minute (okay an hour), Sans got back to his feet and wrapped the fresh new bandages around his skull. He liked this kind, a lot softer than the ones he's been using. Next time he saw Al, he'll ask where he got them. Sans checked himself over a few more times to make sure his disguise was acceptable and then sighed, stretching slightly. With a light quick of his fingers, he was in the alley way not too far from his job. He really should stop teleporting there. Mustang almost saw him the other day. Sans yawned, shrugged, and decided to care later as he began to walk the rest of the way to the office.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Wow this updated quickly this time, huh? Welp. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Wowie, I can't believe this story has 100+ followers after only four chapters. That's impressive. I'm so glad you all enjoy this so much!**

 **BTW, do you think I should change the cover photo for this fic? The one up now is just something I doodled on Photoshop but I don't think it fits very well.**

 **Tra La La, That be an awful lot of followers**


	6. Chapter 6

Sans tried not to look in their direction. He could feel the eyes of a hidden spectator, following him up the steps into the main building. Silently he pondered his options. Teleporting is a huge NO right now. Humans don't teleport. And that's what he was trying to pose as right now. His blue magic he could probably excuse as Alchemy, but then people will start to expect things from him. That was also a big NO. He couldn't afford that. Not with what he's trying to do.

Eh, he has a gun. He didn't like to use guns, but he might not have a choice. There was someone stalking him. And he didn't like that. HE was the one who stalked people. Talk about rude. On the top step, he sighed and decided to give a casual glance in his watcher's direction. At least that way he got a face. He turned his head.

But it seemed his stalker had no intent to stay hidden. Their face was looking down on him, a huge grin plastered on it. Their hands were wrapped around his own, shaking it rapidly as their loud voice rushed past his bandages and through his eyes sockets, churning about in his skull.

"HIYA!" said his assailant. A fairly tall man, broad shoulders, wearing glasses, black hair and a slight scruff on his chin. The man released his arm and smiled down on him, his green eyes sharp and clever. "You're Sans T Skell, right?"

Sans nodded and shoved his hand in his pocket "yep. that's my name."

The man laughed "So it is! My name's Maes Hughes. I'm a friend of Roy's." he cocked his head to the side "Say, what does 'T' stand for?"

" 'the' ." Sans shrugged. Hughes laughed.

"Okay, sure." He grinned "Hey, by the way…" he petered off into an odd silence, sending all of Sans's senses on edge. He didn't care for Mustang. So he didn't care if this man was his friend. But that look in his eyes….That was the glint of someone who was good at putting things together. Hughes threw an arm around Sans's shoulders and drew him in close, shoving a picture of a little girl in his face "Look at this picture of my daughter Elysia! Isn't she adorable?"

"yep." Sans said, glancing at it a moment. The kid was cute. "not as cute as my bro though."

"Oh, you have a little brother?" Hughes smiled "Cute!" his eyes narrowed "But there's no way he's cuter than my Elysia."

Sans laughed and gave the man a look "y'sure? one time paps brought home a puppy and kept it in his room. the mutt chewed up my shoes and my bro tried to fix them with couch stuffing." His eyes squinted up in his smile and he looked to the side "which the dog chewed up."

Hughes laughed. "Wow, yeah that sounds adorable." His eyes narrowed again "But one time, my daughter let a squirrel into her room. She fed it and took care of it and even gave it a name. 'Nutty', she called it."

"boy." Sans grinned, he winked "that sounds _nuts."_

Maes laughed "Oh wow, that pun was… _sans-ational_." He continued to laugh at his own pun. Sans chuckled a bit.

"a bit over-used." He commented "still funny though."

"Yeah, okay." Hughes shrugged. "Hey, aren't you late for work?"

"i'm always late for work." Sans said with a shrug.

"Cool! I am too!" Hughes grinned. He took a hold of Sans's arm and dragged him down a path winding around the building.

"uh…" Sans muttered "yo maes, i work in the building over there."

"I do too!" Maes grinned. "Wow, we have so much in common, Sansy!"

Sans muttered something not nice under his breath. In a half-hearted attempt to pull his arm away, he found the man's grip had tightened considerably. He smothered the blue magic trying to light in his eye.

"yo maes" Sans started carefully "i kinda need ya to let go."

"Oh, come on!" Maes chattered "I wanna talk to ya back here!"

"Let go." Sans said. All bubbliness in Maes's voice dropped at the sound of Sans's demand. His sharp eyes turned over his shoulder, glaring with a glint like a knife. But somehow, he kept the smile in his voice and it sounded more unnerving than Sans would care to admit.

"Sorry, Major. Kinda need to talk to ya." Hughes said solemnly. Sans narrowed his eyes.

"About what?"

Hughes shrugged and turned his eyes forward "I'm sure you already know."

Sans did. So he let himself be pulled along, one hand in his pocket and the other in Hughes's grip. In his gloves and sleeves several layers of cotton were wrapped around his bones just in case of a situation like this, where someone shakes his hand or grabs at his arm. Wouldn't do for anyone to figure out he was all no-skin-but-bones, would it?

Maes dragged him along for a while longer, keeping a solemn air. When once or twice they passed the paths of other officers, he'd start grinning and rambling on about his daughter or wife. Hearing him, the staff would roll their eyes and shoot Sans an apologetic look. Apparently, poor souls being dragged around by this man was common.

Sans zoned out, focusing on the spot between Hughes's shoulder blades. There was one strand of hair that bounced up in down in his stride and a confident strut to his pace. Sans's legs were flying to keep up with Hughes's longer ones, and he partially wished he could just fall asleep. But, no. Eventually Hughes dragged him off of the military grounds and into an old, abandoned-looking safe house of sorts. With a bit of a shove, Hughes pushed him inside, closing and locking the door behind them. Sans pocketed his hands and wasn't surprised when he saw Mustang and Hawkeye in the room.

"Take a seat, Skell." Roy commanded, waving his hand over to a worn, cream-covered couch. Sans shrugged and did as he was told, hopping on the couch and nestling himself into the couch cushions.

"sup, corn-kernel." Sans said, crossing his feet in front of him "any reasons you got maesy to kidnap me?"

"Maesy?" Maes blinked his confusion. Riza shrugged at him but turned her eyes back to Sans.

"We need to talk." Roy said "You found out my plans-"

"didn' i say i don't care?" Sans said. He shrugged "overthrow the government, i don't care."

"I gathered that much." Roy said "You haven't ratted me out or tried to blackmail me yet, so it's difficult for me to come to any conclusion of you trying to stop me. I just need to know, _how_ did you figure that out?"

"ah." Sans said, sinking deeper into the couch "i did some diggin'."

"You need to be more specific, Skell." Roy said. Sans opened one eye, tilting skull slightly. His shoulders slumped.

"oh. i get it. you need to patch up the guise." Sans said. Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, Skell."he muttered, flushing slightly at his confession.

"couldn't you have asked that without kidnapping me?" Sans asked.

Hughes shrugged "Probably. But then someone might have overheard."

Sans nodded his understanding.

"So?" Roy said, tapping a finger to his head. Sans shrugged.

"determination?" he offered pitifully, earning a light chuckle from himself alone. The other three didn't seem amused.

"Sans." Riza frowned. Sans tensed up, took a breath, then calmed down again.

"alright, alright." Sans said. He mumbled a moment, measuring how much he could edit or omit without seeming suspicious. This took about a second as the others in the room looked on him. He took another breathe, fidgeting slightly to imply the feeling of uncomfortable while under questioning. They waited, Hughes and Hawkeye patiently, Mustang not so much. "well…."

"i lived in this city for a few months before i actually joined the military, right? and it wasn't all that fun to be alone with my condition. so one day, while i was scrounging around for something to eat or for some newer bandages or something, i came across this one man. he introduced himself as 'Grumman'. really quirky guy, but nice enough. he let me live with him a while and due to personal reasons, i snooped around after i found out he was in the military.

funny story, he threatened to kill me when he found out i went diggin'. so i explained to him my reasons, didn't have much of a choice. he seemed to understand. offered to help me in fact. that's when he… well, didn't much TELL me, but hinted at what you were doing. when i figured it out, he just told me straight out. it was much appreciated." His eyes squinted up in his smile "…and he might had also helped me rig the tests."

Roy huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose, his leg shaking considerably "So General Grumman told you?"

Sans shrugged "like i said, he didn't really tell me, he kind of hinted at it."

Riza rolled her eyes before they narrowed at him "He didn't tell me about you."

Sans rose an eyebrow "why would he?"

"He's my grandfather." Riza said, crossing her arms.

Sans grinned "woah. really? you two look nothing alike."

Riza didn't find this amusing. Sans shrugged it off.

"but yeah. that's the abridged version." Sans said.

"What were the reasons you gave that made Grumman so eager to help you?" Roy asked. Sans gave him a rather annoyed look.

"dontcha know what 'privacy' is?" he muttered.

"In this situation, there is none." Roy said darkly.

Sans raised an eyebrow. Then looked to the side, fidgeting and once again putting them under the impression he was nervous. Which wasn't necessarily a lie. Though, his thoughts weren't 'oh no I need to tell them something private' it was more along the lines of 'oh shit I need to think of a lie FAST'.

"…for my brother." It wasn't a lie.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "What about your brother?"

Sans snorted "My little brother, okay? I need to do this for him."

"Now you're just copying Ed." Roy muttered "I need more to go off of, Skell."

Hughes knitted his brows as Riza and Roy glared their silent questions. Sans tried to stay calm despite the bubbling desperation he felt in his soul. If it meant killing all three of them, he would. He'd prefer not to. But if that was what it came to….

"Sans T Skell…" Hughes hummed the name, gaining quizzical glances in his direction.

"yep. hi." Sans said.

"You said the 'T' stood for 'the'?" Hughes asked. Sans shrugged.

"actually, it stands for Theodore." He lied quickly, noting the connections being made in the man's eyes. Roy rose an eyebrow and turned his attention back to the now-nervous skelly.

"The bandages are for what, again?" Hughes asked.

"leprosy." Sans shrugged.

Roy got up and shortened the distance between himself and Sans. The said skeleton gave him a questioning look that quickly turned into a startled one as Roy shoved his hand into his eye socket. The man's eyes widened and he snatched his hand back.

"Holy shit." Roy stared.

"er…ow." Sans muttered "that's the definition of rude."

"You're a skeleton." Roy said.

Sans shrugged "eh."

…

"Well, I suppose this situation could be a bit more _humerus."_

"HAWKEYE!" Roy sounded disgusted as Hughes burst into a nervous laughter and Sans chuckled.

"come on roy, throw her a _bone._ "

Hawkeye chuckled and Roy fumed and Hughes laughed to the verge of tears.

Sans shrugged his way back into the couch. Well, that was out. But at least one of them had a good way of handling it. Although personally, he thought this scenario could have a… _femur_ puns. "so…" Sans started once they all calmed down a bit. He cast a glance to Hughes, then looked Roy in the eyes "you came to that conclusion a bit too easily."

Roy crossed his arms "I've heard the legends of Mt Ebott, and the… 'monsters'?" he quirked an eyebrow at Sans, who simply nodded "Right, monsters who live under there."

"Same." Hughes shrugged. He put a hand on his hip "Although I thought they never came out from under there?"

Sans shook his head "nah. we were trapped-"

"What?" Roy interrupted, snapping his questions. His shoulders rose and his eyes narrowed and his voice was sharp "'Trapped'? What do you mean 'trapped'?"

"woah." Sans blinked "calm down roy boy."

He didn't calm down. Sans shrugged.

"er… yeah, long ago two races ruled over earth: humans and monsters. one day a war broke out between the two races. after a long battle, the humans were victorious. they sealed the monsters underground with a magic spell." He explained.

"Magic?" Roy murmured.

"yeah." Sans said "it's more or less the foundation of monster life. so."

"So…. I'm guessing magic to you is different from magic to us." Hughes asked.

"must be." Sans said with a shrug.

"All right." Roy muttered. He raised a brow "So your species was trapped underground. How did you get out?"

Sans shrugged "an eight year old befriended god and let us out."

…

"What?" Riza blinked, tilting her head.

"what what?" Sans replied with a wink. He quickly turned his gaze to the side, taking a sudden interest in the wall "listen, if 'magic' is a strange concept to you, there's no way you'd believe me about how we managed to get out."

"…Fair enough." Roy muttered. He leaned forward on his fingers "So…Your demands from when we first met…"

"yeah." Sans shrugged "i just don't want everyone i know to be dissected just for existing." His eyes went dark, although the effect was lost through the mask of bandages "And I see what you do to Ishvalans."

Riza looked away. Hughes took a sudden interest in his shoes. Roy met his glare.

"Yes." He accepted it. "I know. And I believe I might understand your motives a bit more, Skell." He got to his feet, dusting himself off. He extended a hand toward the skeleton, who stared at it a moment, then looked up to see the colonel's face. His eyes were sharp, narrowed, dark. His LV and his HP didn't match up to one another. But that expression… That was the expression of someone who was determined as hell.

Sans laughed and winked up at him "hold up, roy-boy. i think you could be a bit more dramatic than that." Regardless, he took his hand and got to his feet.

"And your brother?" Hughes prompted as Sans let go of Roy's hand. The small skeleton shoved his hands in his pockets.

"uh… yeah. Papyrus. he was always a bit optimistic…" Sans said, trailing off "he….uh, decided to rush straight into human civilization and try to befriend everyone."

"And he never came back." Roy stated it as fact. He crossed his arms over his chest "I'll look into it."

"wow." Sans grinned "you sure seem eager to help me out."

"I expect the same gesture in return." Roy smirked.

Sans chuckled a bit "sure."

"So how'd you get that information about Leonard?" Riza interrupted. Sans winked at her.

"hey, you go shoving your hands in my eye sockets. i'd like to think i'm obliged to _some_ privacy." He said.

Roy's face flushed a light red and he cleared his throat, turning away. "Noted."

…"hey would this be a… _roy_ -al _blush?"_ Sans grinned.

Riza rolled her eyes. "Way to play the pun _card."_

"Roy looks ready to _deck_ someone." Hughes chuckled.

"YOU'RE ALL FIRED!" Roy snapped.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Sans the Skeleton's alias was Sans T Skell. I tried to be as lazy as possible. In this chapter was revealed the beginning of plot! Oh my gersh.**


	7. Chapter 7

…

What the hell was up with this kid?

Sans leaned heavily on one arm, studying the small alchemist through the holes in his mask. Riza sat to his right, diligently working on her paperwork. Havoc on his left, not so much diligently working on his paperwork. Sans stared past the window of the man's arm and neck right at Edward. The boy was having a not-so-friendly chat with Roy-Boy and it seemed to have settled into a heckling competition of sorts. But this seemed common.

Sans found himself surprised that, to his disappointment, Alphonse had not come with Edward. Seemed like it really _was_ too late to be indifferent toward the suit of armor. He mentally shrugged. Oh well, could be worse things. But…

His gaze focused back on Edward, tracing the pattern of a winged-snake-cross on his back. This kid was really, really strange. Not just in he had two metal limbs, more IQ than the majority of adults, and eyes that burned gold. His STATs were all over the place. …Although, granted, STATs were not an actual number. Just a way Sans found easier to describe the LV and HP he saw in someone. It really was just an estimation. But never the less, they made no sense. Roy's didn't either, but his were still believable.

Maybe Sans was wrong?

Perhaps he had more vanity than he initially thought, as he instantly dismissed the notion.

He scratched down what he saw in Roy and Ed on a shredded piece of scrapbook paper, hunching over it to prevent his neighbors from seeing. In his handwriting (which was a perfect imitation of the Comic Sans font, although none of these people would know that) he scribbled down:

 _ **Roy:**_

 _ **LV: probably about 10**_

 _ **HP: 20-25**_

 _ **way too much EXP for my liking.**_

He tapped his pen to the side of his skull, stole another glance at Edward then scribbled down:

 _ **Ed:**_

 _ **LV: Negative One? usually a good thing to have low LOVE, but that just makes no sense. maybe I should re-think the scale.**_

 _ **HP: 50-ish. doesn't match up at ALL.**_

 _ **No EXP.**_

Sans muttered to himself.

 _ **high LOVE usually means higher HP. maybe it's different on the surface? i see no other explanation. NEGATIVE LOVE makes no sense what-so-ever. 1 is normal, 20 is you're-a-fucking-asshole. maybe it can change in time? or age? but then again, if HP stands for HOPE, then it can make sense it's value may change based on the person. but negative LOVE? i think that might mean he has an inability to detach himself from the death of others at all. not a good thing for him. good for everyone else though, it means he won't kill anyone.**_

Sans re-read his notes, chewing on the top of his pen. His thought process was all over the place, but he could read it easily enough. Sans folded the note and shoved it into his pocket, sitting back and watching the continuing conversation of the two alchemists. Slowly, he leaned, reclining the chair so it was balancing on two legs.

Ed had certainly caught his interest. Rekindling a sense of curiosity the skeleton had thought long-lost. So many 'whys' and 'hows' and 'whats'. He'd have cracked a smile if he wasn't already grinning. Might be a bit creepy, but a part of him really wanted to know the nature of the SOULs that surrounded him. Humans were so strange, came in such a spiritual variety. Perhaps, when he was done and Roy was Fuhrer and delivered on his promise, that can be studied. He could call up Alphys and they could look into it together.

Sans frowned, shook his head, and went back to napping on his desk.

Nah. That sounded like too much work. And really the only work he was willing to do was the work required to find and maybe save his brother.

He stopped caring and fell asleep.

* * *

The notes he scribbled down kept finding its way into his gloved hands. More and more annotations found their way onto the page as days passed. After work, Roy or Riza would often ask him about Monster Life. He made sure to turn the conversation away from him. The two seemed to pick up on this quickly and didn't push it.

Sans had asked of them a rather personal request one day, sitting on Roy's couch in his small crummy house.

"can I see your SOULs real quick?" he asked. This question was received with incredibly confused looks.

"Pardon?" Riza asked.

"i asked if i could see your SOULs." Sans repeated "i get it if you're not cool with that, though. no pressure."

Roy crossed his arms, his mouth setting into a thoughtful frown "Is that something monsters can do?"

Sans nodded.

"Would WE be able to see our SOULs?" he continued.

"yeah." Sans replied. Roy and Riza exchanged glances. Roy turned his eyes back to Sans and nodded.

"Yeah, okay." He said.

"wow." Sans grinned "You just dived into this."

"No one I've ever known has seen someone's SOUL before." Roy explained "Let alone their own. I'm curious."

Sans tilted his head, thought a moment, then shrugged. "alright then."

Roy blinked. "So what do I do?"

"sit there and keep your eyes open." Sans directed. He winked "if you wanna see your SOUL, that is."

"Alright…" Roy muttered, casting a nervous glance at Riza before sitting stiffly across from Sans. Sans chuckled.

"easy there, buddy ol' pal." Sans told him. "it wont hurt."

Roy nodded "Got it." He didn't seem convinced. Sans let out a loose breathe, fully aware of the watchful glare of the blonde woman who slowly settled her hand on her glock. Completely reasonable, honestly. This wasn't exactly a tower o' hotdogs here.

The skeleton closed his eyesockets and with a swift flick of his hand he ripped off his bandages and opened his eyes. Blue magic flared in his left eye, his right completely dark. He saw Roy stiffen but not move. He wasn't scared, it didn't seem. He was surprised. Understandable. This is the first time Sans took the mask off around them. Riza slowly got ready to shoot, just in case.

Carefully, but not slowly, he pulled the man's SOUL out of his body.

Roy stared, completely intrigued by the floating heart.

"Do all SOULs look like this?" He asked.

"pretty much." Sans said, left hand slowly moving the SOUL about. "they come in different colors though, depending on the person."

"Based on their personality?" Roy asked, straying a soft poke to the heart. He flinched slightly, not used to the feel of something outside his body.

"more like the nature of the person." Sans explained, eyeing Roy's SOUL.

"So what's mine?" Roy asked him, looking up.

"purple." Sans explained. Roy frowned.

"Meaning?"

"perserverance." The skeleton explained, pushing the man's SOUL back into him. Roy watched as it slipped into his chest, frowning.

"Perserverance, huh?" he muttered.

"Seems right." Riza commented, finally allowing herself to relax a bit.

Sans nodded, took out his page and quickly added ' _ **purple'**_ next to Roy's name. He pocketed it before they noticed. With a slight frown, he noted his initial guess was wrong. He really had thought Roy's SOUL to be red.

And after that, for the most part, routine was his life. Get up, change bandages, go to work, chat with Roy and Riza (maybe Hughes), go home, go to bed, repeat. It quickly became dull, resulting in him dragging his feet along the ground and hanging his head, half-asleep.

Although one day, walking along the halls of HQ he heard someone ask him:

"What the hell does LOVE stand for?"

Sans jumped a little, startled, and turned to see the Elric Brothers. Ed held the shredded note his brow scrunched up as he tried to decipher it. Al knelt over his older brother, tall but not quite imposing.

"Sorry, Mr. Skell." He apologized "You dropped your paper and Ed picked it up and…." His helmet tilted to the side "Are these your research notes?"

"yep." Sans didn't quite lie. He walked to meet up with them and held out his hand "can i get that back from ya?"

Ed glared up at him "MY name is on this."

Sans winked "part of the code, bucko." It was common for alchemists to code their notes, right? Then luckily for him, his acronyms seem like some sort of riddle.

Ed looked back onto the paper, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched up ever so comically. He mouthed a few things to himself and left the three in an awkward silence that lingered on for several minutes. Sans cleared his throat and wriggled his fingers for emphasis.

"kid." He said to gain his attention. Ed looked up at him, back at the note, then grudgingly handed it back.

"So, what kind of alchemy do you specialize in?" Ed asked.

"eh." Sans shrugged "whatever catches my interest."

"What does SOUL mean?" the blond demanded. Sans tilted his head and chuckled.

"a SOUL is a SOUL, kiddo." He kind of explained.

Ed glared at him. Sans felt his bones stiffen. For once, he felt HE was the one being judged. The kid had eyes that could burn into someone if they were not careful. Sharp. Shining. His mouth was set into a frown, a crease in his face that seemed ready to spit poison. His brows knitted together as if determining how to disassemble a complicated machine.

What the hell triggered this? It was a lot different than the wide-eyed kid sticking his bottom lip out in a pout that he had gotten used to seeing.

This entire summary took place in perhaps the span of half a second. So it seemed like there was no hesitation on Sans's part when he shrugged.

"again, just part of the code." He winked "what, you hoping i can tell ya about SOULs or something?"

Ed rolled his eyes and the tension melted away with that childish motion. "Nah, just trying to see if I could figure out your notes."

Sans laughed "that's a bit rude, dontcha think?"

"Do I look like I care?" Ed muttered. Al shot him a glare and the elder brother shrugged in on himself. The armored spirit then looked back to Sans.

"I'm sorry about that, Mr. Skell. Ed's just really curious is all." He explained. Sans waved him off.

"don't worry about it." He said. Pocketing his hand he continued "so what are you kids doing here?"

"I gotta see the Bastard today." Ed muttered.

"He means Colonel Mustang." Al translated "We're actually already late, so…"

"i'm late too." Sans winked "dontcha worry about it." With that he stepped to the side to let them pass. Al thanked him politely and Ed paid him no mind as they pushed their way past him. With their backs to him, Sans locked his gaze on Alphonse's back. His left eye blazed to life as it burrowed into the boy. What he saw surprised him.

He took out the page and quickly scribbled

 _ **Alphonse:**_

 _ **LV: 3. unexpected.**_

 _ **HP: 30ish. still don't know the nature of this.**_

 _ **has some EXP. not a lot. still troublesome.**_

His eyes lifted up and he watched the brothers move further and further away, becoming smaller and smaller in his vision. Maybe he imagined it. But if he focused, he could just barely see a shining heart though the boy's armor…. He added to his notes.

 _ **His SOUL is GREEN (Meaning Kindness, I think.)**_

He looked over his notes and pocketed it again. Then began strolling slowly behind the two. The blue magic smothered out of existence as his use for it diminished. Hardly ever he could see the color of someone's SOUL without taking it out of them, but perhaps Alphonse was a special case as it was he didn't have a body.

As he walked, he once again took out his notes and scribbled:

 _ **Outward personalities imply otherwise. Ed- Rude, loud. Al- quiet, calm. Seem to contrast to their SOULs? Alphonse's STATs aren't particularily bad but it seems strange coming from him. The true nature of Ed's STATs still remain a mystery to me.**_

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Another Sans-centric chapter. No worries. Next one I hope to focus on Ed a bit more.**

 **Also how do you guys feel about SansxEd? Good? TOO BAD! THIS WAS A JOKE. NO SANSXED. NONE!**

 **I'll repeat this again in the next chapter's A/N. It was a joke. Please. Just a joke. I'm so sorry for the confusion. Really and truly, it was a joke. I had to edit this because I gathered too many people thought I meant it. I didn't. I don't ship that and I will never write it. Please don't take it seriously. Please.**


	8. Chapter 8

Ed woke with a start, drenched in sweat and panting heavily in an attempt to regain his lost breath. His flesh hand grasped at his chest above his heart. Fingers dug into the cloth of his shirt as he struggled to slow its racing beat.

"Brother?" Alphonse interrupted the struggle, quickly strolling from the door to the blond's bedside "Are you okay?"

Ed sighed "Y-yeah." He forced a grin "Just a nightmare. Don't worry about it."

His little brother didn't seem convinced, but didn't push him any further. Instead he gave a nod of his helmet. "Okay. What do you want for breakfast?"

Ed chuckled briefly. "Eh. Anything is fine."

"How about bacon?" Al asked him. Ed's face lit up at the thought. Al laughed softly in response, content that his offer sufficed "All right then. I'll get started on breakfast then."

"Thanks, Al!" Ed chirped. He waited until the armored spirit left the room to let out a hearty sigh. He pressed his flesh palm against his heart and breathed in. Then out. Then in. It wasn't until he had calmed down that he slid off of his bed and made his way to the bathroom.

After he had tidied himself up for the day, he walked into the kitchen of the hotel room in the midst of mid-braid. On the table was a plate of eggs and bacon. Ed grinned, tied off his braid, sat, and began to devour the meal with the hunger of a starved wolf.

"So what's the plan today?" Al asked.

"Well" Ed said, mouth filled with half-chewed eggs "Head to the library and see if we can find any more leads. Grab some lunch. Go back to the library."

Al nodded "Okay." he fidgeted "But…uh…. Can we stop by Major Skell's house?"

Ed almost choked on his bacon "What? Why?"

"Well…" Al said shyly, poking his fingers together "I just want to check on him. The last time I was there, his house…well, apartment, was a complete wreck. And given his condition, I want to make sure he doesn't let his living space spoil like that-"

"Al, quit rambling." Ed interrupted. He smiled up at his little brother, not bothering to hide the annoyance set to his brow, however "We can check on him later, okay?"

"Thanks, Ed!" Al chirped. Ed rolled his eyes, gave him a quick thumbs up, then did his impersonation of a vacuum cleaner. Al watched in awe as his brother's meal disappeared before the lights that served as his eyes.

* * *

Ed rubbed at his eyes, yawning loudly as he walked alongside his brother. Sleepily he looked around.

"This is a crappy neighborhood." He stated bluntly. Al laughed sheepishly.

"Heheh…Yeah." he said. He suddenly seemed nervous "Do you think Major Skell ever has any problems coming home?"

Ed shrugged "He's a State Alchemist. He should be able to care for himself."

"But isn't he mainly research?" the younger brother fretted.

"Is he?" Ed blinked. "I don't pay that much attention to him."

"Ed!" Al yelled, putting his gauntlets on what might as well be his hips.

"What?" Ed snapped "Why should I care what's going on in that guy's life? I barely even know him!"

"It wouldn't hurt to show a bit of _concern_ once in a while!" Al scolded.

"Whatever." Ed snorted, throwing his suitcase over his shoulder as he turned his nose up to him. Al fumed a moment, but then somehow looked smug. He leaned over his older brother and swooned.

"Or is your concern only for Winry~?" he asked in sing-song.

"WHAT!?" Ed hissed "Where the hell did this come from!?" his face was as red as his coat.

"Oh Ed, you have to be true to your feelings!" Al said "It's good for you!"

"SHUDDUP!" Ed snapped. He snorted again and trudged onward "Where is this damn guy's apartment, anyway?"

Al allowed himself to snicker briefly before taking a few steps to catch up to the much smaller brother. "It's not much further."

Soon the pair came across the building in which the bandaged alchemist made his dwelling. A practically falling apart walk-up building in which Sans lived on the second floor. A rust-covered staircase was bolted to the wall of the edifice. Its railing was a twisted sliver of darkened metal and sludge. Ed eyed it skeptically.

"Uh. Yuck?" he muttered.

"Yeah…." Al sighed "I hope he can move somewhere nicer soon."

"No kidding." Ed snorted "Yeesh."

Al nodded and begun his climb up the staircase. His long legs skipping every over step. Ed hopped up after him, peering around the lousy excuse for an apartment complex-

 _Screek._

Ed blinked, stopping in mid-hop. Stupidly he stomped on the step he was on again.

 _SCREE-_

He let out a startled yelp as the entire staircase gave way. Snapping into sharp shards of metal that carved into his skin as he plummeted to the ground-

Ed woke with a start, drenched in sweat and panting heavily in an attempt to regain his lost breath. His flesh hand grasped at his chest above his heart. Fingers dug into the cloth of his shirt as he struggled to slow its racing beat.

"Brother?" Alphonse interrupted the struggle, quickly strolling from the door to the blond's bedside "Are you okay?"

"Wha-?" Ed blinked, staring around with wide, dazed eyes. He was pulled in a gentle metallic embrace.

"Ed, you're awake now, it's okay-" Al hushed him. The boy stared wide-eyed. Sweat slicked his face. He could practically feel the sharped edges of metal shards cut through his flesh. What a damn vivid dream. He sighed, reassured his brother he was all right, then lived through a carbon-copy of the dream he had just had.

All day, he was on-edge. Blinking in his confusion and awe as exactly the same things happened. Al wanted to visit Major Skell, they had their little spat. The exact same place, the exact same weather. Exact same everything-

Until he got to those stairs again. Then, as the two begun their climb-

"hey kids." Said the low, tired voice. Sans leaned over the shabby balcony at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, hi Mr. Skell!" Al chirped. "We just thought we'd visit."

"that's sweet kid." he said. He peered around the large suit of armor and referred to Ed "be careful, ed. that next step is kinda sloppily fastened."

Ed blinked, stared down at where his foot was just about to fall, and took a careful step over it. Chewing on his lip, he stared at the step a moment. Even when he turned to follow his brother and the strange man inside, his eyes still glued themselves to that one step. His heart skipped a beat. This was creepy.

"you okay, kid?" Sans asked. Ed practically fell over backwards. Well, he would have if Sans hadn't grabbed a hold of his coat's collar and pulled him back to his feet. "yeesh. what has you all wiled up?"

"Nothing." Ed muttered, stepping past him "Where's your damn apartment?"

Sans shrugged and motioned to one door that looked more intact than the others "i don't have a _damn_ apartment, but my normal apartment is right over here."

"Brother, are you okay?" Al whispered.

"Of course I am." Ed muttered.

Al fidgeted "Well… you've seemed on edge all day, Ed….."

"so on ed-ge?" Sans asked, laughing to himself.

…

"Mr. Skell, please don't eavesdrop on us." Al asked.

"kay." Sans chirped, making his way over to the kitchen.

"What the hell is his problem?" Ed muttered.

"Who knows?" Al sighed "But seriously, Brother, what's up?"

"Nothing, Al." Ed said. He smiled "Really."

Al didn't seemed convinced, as he asked "Does it have to do with your nightmare?"

Ed shrugged and looked to the side "….Yeah. A little bit, I guess."

Al put a large hand on his should and forced a smile in his voice "It's all right, Brother. I'm here for you."

Sans decided not to comment on that. He turned his attention to the dirty dishes in the sink and for once, actually washed them.

Maybe twenty minutes passed before Al drew his attention.

"Hey, Mr. Skell." He said "Sorry for barging in like this."

"no prob, bob." Sans shrugged.

Ed and Al exchanged confused glances. Apparently that was not a phrase here. Ed shrugged it off and took to mindlessly staring around the room.

"You're place is a lot neater then last time." Al chirped.

"yeah. people actually come visit nowadays." Sans shrugged "so i gotta put some effort into it now. it's kinda annoying."

"I'm sure." Al sighed.

"hey, i was actually wondering something." Sans said. He spared a brief glance to make sure he had Al's attention then continued "last time you were over here, you left some bandages on the table. can you tell me where you got those? they're a lot better than the ones i've been using."

"Oh." Al chirped "Well, I got them-"

Ed stopped listening, taking instead to making himself comfortable on the mattress in the corner. His suitcase laid on the floor at the foot of the bed and he pillowed his head in his folded arms. Staring up at the ceiling and keeping his face placid.

Something weird was going on.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Heya!**

 **I would like to elaborate that the SansxEd thing I mentioned in the author's note in the last chapter was a joke. Please. No SansxEd. That…no. Just no. Sorry for any panic I may have caused.**

 **Also, thanks to everyone who pointed out the inaccuracy in the last chapter with the purple soul. Luckily, it still fit Roy so I could keep it. I fixed that small error.**


	9. Chapter 9

"So…next stop, Ebon." Ed grinned up at his little brother.

Alphonse nodded his acknowledgement, eager to get going. Edward folded the paper into a pamphlet, shoving it into his coat, and threw his suitcase over his shoulder. The boy flew down the steps of the Military Headquarters and raced down the streets towards the train station.

The pair sped right past Sans, paying the strange man no mind. He waved to them ironically, knowing full well they didn't notice him.

"hey, where the kids running off to?" he asked as he entered the office.

"You mean Edward and Alphonse?" Riza clarified "I think they said they were going somewhere on a lead… 'Ebon', I think they said."

"'Ebon'?" Sans repeated. He thought a moment, mulling to himself, then addressed Mustang "mind if i go with 'em?"

Roy blinked, startled out of the House of Cards he was building, which fell over on his desk. He sighed, grieving a minute over the destruction of his work, then met Sans's gaze with a rather annoyed glare.

"Skell, you don't do any work around here as it is. Why should I let you go?" he muttered.

Sans shrugged, walking up to the Colonel's desk, and leaned in close "i got some friends who live near there. if ya catch my drift."

Roy frowned a moment, then sighed, slouching back into his chair. "Fine. Tag along with the Elrics, won't you? That way they have a babysitter."

Sans chuckled "buddy, you mean that way _I_ have babysitter- _s."_

"Same thing." Roy shrugged "Hurry up if you want to catch that train, Skell."

Sans threw him a sloppy, left-handed salute "thanks for the va-ca must-sta."

"Whatever. Hurry up and get out of my hair." Roy mumbled, re-starting his task to build a small civilization out of playing cards.

Sans winked at him, left, found an abandoned corridor, and teleported to his apartment.

Quickly, he shoved extra bandages, some notebooks, civilian-esque clothes and small bottles made to look like medication. Shortly after, he was adorned in a more prude version of his casual outfit. The shorts were replaced with slacks, the slippers with his military boots. Instead of his brown gloves, he pulled on his dark-blue mittens underneath the sleeves of his favorite hoodie.

Bag slung over his shoulder, he took another quick shortcut to a near-deserted loading bay near the train station. A roll of his shoulders, a brisk walk, and his eye sockets were scanning over the crowd for an easy-to-spot suit of armor.

As expected, it didn't take too long to spot them. The two boys were sitting on a bench, staring intently at the boarding area. Ed was leaning on his suitcase which rested on his knees, his right leg bouncing impatiently as he drummed his fingers against his face. Al sat in a way clearly trying to make himself look smaller. His helmet was ducked into his narrowed shoulders, his legs close together with his feet overlapping.

Sans swallowed down a chuckle as he snuck up on them. Whoopie-Cushion safely nestled in his mitten, ready to be deployed. Apparently old habits die hard.

"hi." Sans grinned, getting in between the brothers while slapping the whoopie-cushion against Edward's shoulder. The short blond let out a startled (incredibly comedic) yelp and practically threw himself onto the ground. Al yipped slightly, turning to look at the unexpected visitor. Sans made himself comfortable on the part of the bench Ed had vacated. He winked at the boy "thanks for the seat, kiddo."

Ed's face was flushed red with part embarrassment, mostly rage. He leapt to his feet and pointed an accusatory finger in the man's face.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE!?" he snapped.

"Brother, calm down!" Al retorted sharply.

"no biggie, kids." Sans said. He shrugged "roy-boy told me you guys were going to ebon. i got some friends who live near there so i figured i'd tag along."

"No one said you could!" Ed spat.

"roy did." Sans said casually, making himself comfortable. Ed opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, then opened it again. He then settled for sitting down on the other side of Alphonse, arms crossed and his bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

Al sighed at his brother's lack of manners. "So, Major Skell?"

"sup." Sans didn't as much ask as say.

Al fidgeted, clearly trying to think of something to break the tension he was imagining Sans had. "Er… Are you going to Ebon to visit your brother?"

Sans tensed up, then quickly forced himself to relax "nah, my bro doesn't live around there."

"Oh. Uh…" Al said "So how are your friends like?"

"Imaginary, probably." Ed muttered. Sans laughed at that, wiping a tear out from under his eye and shooting the boy a wink.

"nice one, kiddo." Sans chuckled. Ed growled at him and pressed himself against Al so he was out of the man's sight. Al muttered some choice words of complaint, causing Sans to chuckle a bit more. He winked at the armored spirit. "well my friends are pretty unique, i'd say. my bud alphys is a huge nerd, i got another friend named tori. she likes to bake pies and read books and kinda has that 'i-adopt-every-child-i-see' vibe going on." His grin widened "she tells great jokes too."

"They sound nice." Al chirped.

"they are." Sans nodded "real great company."

"Then why do they hang around you?" Ed growled.

"ouch." Sans said, his eyes darting to the side "ya really hurt my feelings."

"I wasn't aware you _had_ those!" Ed hissed.

"Brother, calm down!" Al snapped.

"nah, it's cool." Sans shrugged "everyone's got their own sense of humor, P-Al."

Al blinked a moment, registering the pun. Then both of the brothers shot him a pointed glare. "Seriously?" Ed muttered.

Sans laughed "sorry boys. i guess you don't think my sense of humor is _pun_ -tastic."

"THAT ONE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!" Ed snapped.

Sans winked at him "y'mean it doesn't make _'sans'_?"

Ed grinded his teeth, a hiss howling from between his teeth. He opened his mouth to deliver a not-so-nice message when Sans interrupted him yet again.

"sorry to _derail_ your _train_ of thought there, bucko, but the train's here." Sans chuckled.

Ed fumed, screaming obscenities and threats at the top of his lugs as his little brother held him back, trying in vain to calm the blond down.

Sans's grin grew wider, as it was he was quite content with this reaction.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Short chapter. Sorry. I wanted to update but I didn't want to hog my sister's computer. She needs it for something so… yeah.**

 **The 'derailing of the train of thought' pun is something I use quite often. The more off-topic I get, the more layers I add to it. for instance "my train of thought derailed, rolled down a hill, landed in a mind field, exploded, flew 200 feet into the air, then landed up-right on a different track".**

 **This Chapter's Favorite Line Was:**

"Roy mumbled, re-starting his task to build a small civilization out of playing cards."


	10. Chapter 10

Since they tried to bring back their mother, he had those harsh feelings of déjà vu. Although they had always been small and miniscule, happening only once in a while. Often during the heat of the battle, he'd get this…lapse. Like this was the second time he was in this fight. But, as it was he was usually about to be killed when those moments happened, he didn't think on them too long.

But ever since that incident with the stairs, he couldn't help but feel perhaps this was worth looking into. Yet how would he explain it to Al? To anyone, really? It was still an enigma to _him_ , how would anyone else understand?

So, as the train rocked and sputtered along the tracks, he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. The hushed murmurs and whispers of the fellow passengers was white noise to his ears. Alphonse, seated next to him, seemed fidgety, flicking through the pages of a book. Just by listening to the shifting of his metal joints it was obvious he was trying to hide from their dagger-like gazes.

Ed risked a quick glance to the accompanying Major.

Sans was slouched against the hard seat of the train. His feet dangling above the floor, his hands in his pockets. Soft snores shook from his sleeping form. But that grin was still plastered on his face, hiding beneath the bandages like a snake in the grass. Ed suppressed a shudder. Something about that smile seemed almost skeletal.

He closed his eyes again.

Sans was another oddity in his life. But not a high enough priority for him to trouble himself with.

While he was still trying to puzzle out his déjà vu spells, he didn't resist sleep when it came knocking. Just when his mind was fluttering off to slumber, however, a violent shaking of the train accompanied by a loud BOOM rudely woke him. Made comedic, of course, by throwing him out of his seat and onto the train floor, along with the strange Major who landed on top of him with a dull 'thud'.

Ed all but shoved the man off, scrambling to his feet and frantically trying to shake himself awake.

"What the hell was that?" He yelled, darting to stand next to his brother. Alphonse was already on his feet, tense and at the ready.

"Sounded like an explosion." He observed. The lights that served as his eyes caught on Sans on the floor "M-Mr. Skell, are you all right?"

The only response they got was a sluggish thumbs-up.

Ed and Al exchanged a brief, annoyed, look. Then overhead, the train's intercoms buzzed to life. Static clearing, a man's voice was heard.

"ATTENTION PASSENGERS" the voice roared "WE ARE THE MONSTER ERADICATION UNION! THIS TRAIN, AND ALL OF YOU DAMN MONSTERS LOVERS, ARE NOW UNDER _OUR_ RULE! ANY SYMPATHIZER WILL BE **SHOT-"**

"Monsters?" Ed mumbled, completely ignoring the rest of the announcer's speech.

"Oh yeah…" Al blinked, a hand casually resting on one of his metal hips "I heard about this. Apparently a few years ago, a group of 'Monsters' came from underground and settled near Ebon."

"Oh. Okay." Ed said "So….wait." His expression melted into one of pure annoyance "So they're being so damn annoying 'cause of some lousy-ass monsters?"

"Ed!" Al scolded.

Sans chuckled, pulling himself up off of the floor using the seat as a crutch.

"heya kids, the guy's still talking." He pointed out.

"Huh? Oh yeah." Ed shrugged "I'm just kinda ignoring that."

Alphonse sighed "Brother, we probably should do something."

"Well _DUH."_ Ed snapped. He clenched his fist tightly, balling it close to his face as his grin turned sinister. "THOSE ASSHOLES RUINED OUR TRAIN RIDE!"

Sans barked out a short, curt laugh "oh-w-wow….o-okay…." He wiped a tear out from the corner of one eye socket "you kids gonna handle this?"

"Yeah." Ed and Al said in sync, as if this was obvious. Sans gave a shrug.

"great, im goin' back to sleep." And at that declaration, he settled onto the train seat and fell soundly asleep.

The Elrics didn't quite know how to respond to that.

"Why fight them?" one man said, his voice gravelly as it filtered through his bushy gray moustache. He hunched over into a paper "Let 'em kill the damn monsters. Less freaks for us to worry about."

"Wha-" A small girl whined, clinging onto the skirt of her mother who looked ready to murder the man. She blinked tears away from her eyes "B-but the m-monsters are nice!"

"Ignore him, sweetie." The mother cooed gently, brushing the girl's hair back. She hugged her daughter to her chest, glancing up at Edward and Alphonse with concerned eyes.

Ed couldn't help but give his biggest grin. "Dontcha worry about us, Miss! We can handle this! Right, Al?"

Alphonse nodded in response. Squatting down so he was eye-level with the girl, he gave her a reassuring pat.

"Don't worry Miss. We'll make sure those meanies are put in their place." He said. The girl stared at him a moment, her eyes widening and sparkling in awe. Al felt a tad awkward for that split second, shuffling slightly as the girl shouted out:

"You're just like Undyne!" She seem ecstatic "Momma, momma! Doesn't he seem like Undyne? He's so cool!"

"'Cool'?" Al repeated, clearly happy with this statement as he was somehow blushing. Ed chuckled a moment, then put his hands on his hips.

"Alright, brother. Let's go beat us some baddies!"

"Got it!" Al said, nodding his helmet. The brothers shot the rude man a glare as they hopped their way out of the train. As they exited the car, a low, low and tired, voice said

"go get 'em, boys."

Ed rolled his eyes and closed the door.

"Alright Al…." He mused as the wind rushed on by, brushing his bangs and braid about in a wild mess. "I'll train-walk, you go through the cars?"

"Sounds like a plan." He agreed "Be careful, Ed."

Ed shrugged "Sure."

Al chuckled lightly, opening the door to the next car and beginning his pursuit. Ed looked around briefly and was quickly rewarded for his search. Mounted to the wall of the car, a ladder led to the roof and seemed to be in a decent condition. He rolled his shoulders and shot his way up.

The wind picked up as he left the cranny between the cars. It rushed at his face harshly, threatening his balance and his life. But if Ed was anything, it was stubborn. So, his knees bent and his body leaning into the wind, he steadily made his way over the car heads. It was somehow quiet up here, despite the wind rushing by his ears, reddening the skin and making them ache.

He was doing pretty well, when one of the hijackers spotted him. The balding man spat a wad of tobacco out of the corner of his mouth, leaning onto the train's roof and taking aim at the boy. Ed narrowed his eyes, flattening himself to the roof and crouching much like a cat. The gold of his irises locked onto the barrel of the gun, following where it would aim. He darted about like a centipede. Scurrying quickly, limbs flailing to keep him from falling and to keep from getting shot.

Bullets hit the metal floor where Edward was. Several times pocking the roof with bullet holes and making the man yell out in frustration. Just as Ed reached the homestretch, only a meter away from punching the gun-happy asshole in the face, he miss-stepped. That, combined with how he lunged to dodge a bullet and the force of the wind on his body, sent him tumbling off of the train.

In a desperate attempt to survive, he lashed his arms out and…suddenly he wasn't falling at all.

Ed hung there suspended in nothing for moment, before he opened his eyes. He wasn't quite sure what it was he was expecting, but it wasn't this. He opened his eyes to observe his fingers wrapped around the metal bar of a ladder bolted to the train car.

Slowly, his muscles tense and his mind and heart racing, he moved his body to climb up the ladder. Again. Before he pulled himself over the edge, he halted. Stiff. His small body shaking he pressed himself to the car wall. Just for the assurance it was real. Gritting his teeth, he whipped up his golden gaze.

Think about it later.

Still shaking, he clambered up into an exact replica of what had happened before. When he was once again in the home-stretch, he darted to the opposite side. His foot slipped, but he managed to keep his balance as he pelted the gunman in the face and sent him scurrying back into cover.

Ed slipped down onto solid ground, holding tightly onto the rail and breathing heavily. Sweat slicked the sides of his face as he tried to tame his racing heart.

"Brother?" came the light voice. Ed practically jumped off the train. He stared up at his brother, who had somehow caught up to him without being noticed. Despite the lack of facial expressions, his concern was written all over the face of his helmet. Al knelt down. "Are you okay? What happened? Did you get hurt-?"

"I'm fine." Ed interrupted. He forced a grin "Just relieved to be on something a bit sturdier."

"Oh." Al said, although the drop in his voice hinted at his disbelief. "Well, we're at the last car. The boss should be ahead."

"Yeah." Ed said with a nod. He stumbled to his feet, putting his hands on his hips. Standing, he was about the same size as his kneeling little brother. "Let's go get 'em!"

"Okay." Al said with a slight nod, straightening himself up.

The brothers rushed into the room, and were greeted with just about what they expected. The main baddie and his cronies were on them in an instant, but through a combination of Edward's alchemy and Alphonse's general invincibility, the group was dispatched quickly enough.

Ed dusted his hands off, a smug and content smirk on his face at his handiwork. The hijackers were tied and incapacitated, and the ones that were particularly annoying gagged. Ed shot his little brother a grin and a thumbs up. Alphonse chuckled a bit.

"Well. That takes care of that!" He chirped.

"Yep." Ed smirked. Then his face quickly dropped to one of exasperation, his eyes slipping over to the men "By the way, why the hell were you morons attacking the train, again?"

None of them said anything, instead glaring at Ed with frustration and anger bubbling in their irises. Ed rolled his eyes.

"I guess they're just jerks." Al shrugged.

"sounds 'bout right." came a voice. The brothers jumped, turning to see Sans (who had been hiding behind Al).

"Major Skell!" Al gasped "You shouldn't be up here, it's dangerous!"

"looks to me like you got it handled." Sans shrugged. He casually walked over to the captured group of terrorists, his hands in his pockets and his tone as if he were speaking to a long-time friend "so heya pals, ya got a beef with monsters?"

Again, no response.

Sans shrugged "fair enough. ya don't wanna talk. All right. just askin' for a friend." He gave a wink "he likes to know the 'root' of these problems, if ya get my drift." He chuckled at the joke only he seemed to get. And when this became obvious, he gave a light shrug "yeah i guess you wouldn't know him, huh?"

Ed rolled his eyes "Major, we're done here. Let's just get back to our seats and wait until we get to Ebon."

"okay okay, gotcha'." Sans threw his hands in the air in mock-defeat. He finished this movement with a dramatic salute "whatever you say, sir."

Al chuckled. Ed fumed.

It was an easy walk back to their seats. No more explosives, and the officers on board the train said they'd handle the rest of it from there. Ed eagerly accepted, yawning and ready to get back to his nap. Sans seemed to have the same mindset. Seated again, the trio relaxed as the train chugged steadily on. The mother from earlier seemed grateful, as well as relieved, that they were back unharmed. She told them as such, her daughter chattering excitedly on how cool she thought their actions were.

Ed let Al handle the talking.

His eyes shut, he let himself drift off to sleep once again-

"hey."

Ed mumbled an impolite response, prying open one eye and glaring into Sans's gaze. The man seemed didn't seem fazed, leaning in towards him, likely to speak in private.

" _WHAT?"_ Ed hissed.

"what's yer opinion on monsters?" he asked, his voice low. "i mean, ya rushed in to punch those guys. so i'm a tad curious."

Ed rolled his eyes, snuggling deep into his jacket. His response was low, grumbled out, and sizzling with annoyance "I never meant a monster. Don't even know if they exist. If they do, who gives a shit. As long as they aren't assholes."

Sans seemed amused by this response, chuckling lightly as he leaned back into his seat. "fair enough."

And that was the end of that conversation.

The sun was setting, casting orange over the mountains and fields as they arrived into the town. Slowly, creaking, the train came to a halt into the station. The _hiss_ of the brakes and the song of evening birds filled the air of the sleepy city. The conductor's voice came on over the intercom.

"We have arrived in the City of Ebon."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Sorry. Really, I am. This was supposed to be updated a lot earlier. But the file crashed and got deleted. Then a bunch of things just came up and everything sucked for a bit. But I should be good now. I had to re-write this chapter, like, twice though. (Once because of the previously mentioned reason andonce because I just didn't like how it turned out).**

 **Well, anyway. I keep forgetting to ask what you people think of the new cover picture. So! What do you think?**

 **Drop a review, if you would.**


	11. Chapter 11

"welp. see ya." Sans said with a slight wave.

The small group had gotten off the train, skirting through the crowd as quickly as they can as to avoid attention. The sun was setting, and although it wasn't quite dark, the shadows had become long, gray, and bleak in contrast to the orange gleam. Ed and Al watched, confused as the man made the declaration.

"What? Where you going?" Ed mumbled.

"didn't i tell ya i had friends here? i'm gonna go see 'em." Sans explained, yawning near the end of his sentence. "don't wait up."

"Isn't it a bit late?" Al asked, casting a glance toward a street-clock. "Maybe you should wait until tomorrow?"

"maybe." Sans shrugged "but i know for a fact my bud alphys will be up. so. yeah. see ya."

"Bye." Ed said curtly, practically waving him off. Sans chuckled a bit, turned on heel and began walking away.

Al fidgeted "Ed, should we really- Ed?"

The elder brother was swaying on his feet, his eyelids half-closed. As he caught the young brother's attention, he yawned loudly, stretching his arms over his head and leaning heavily against Al's armor. Al sighed, the slight shift in his armor causing Ed to jerk up straight. The boy yawned again.

"Sorry Al, I'm gonna call it a night." Ed murmured. He rubbed at his eyes a moment, forcing a tired smile "Let's go get a hotel room or something, kay?"

"Okay." Al nodded after hesitating a moment. Ed shot another grin, gave another yawn, and readjusted his suitcase over his shoulder. Then the brothers trudged off to rest for the night.

Or rather, Ed did.

Al took to following Sans as soon as Edward was snoring. The armored spirit drifted about the dark streets like a phantom, clanking and clanging as he searched for the bandaged alchemist. He was concerned for the man's health and general well-being. And maybe he could scrounge up some information on the Philosopher's Stone as he was looking. In the morning, they could spring right into action.

Maybe.

Alphonse sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot in a fidgety manner. Something was going on with his brother. He couldn't tell what, and heaven knew Ed would never share anything troubling him. Al sighed. Ed was really too selfless for his own good, sometimes. Or maybe 'stubborn' fits his description better.

Al shook his helmet, pushing his anxiety to the back of his mind. He'll see what he could do tomorrow. Until then…

He lost his train of thought again as the sound of shouting voices caught his attention. Curiosity peaked, the armored spirit followed the noise until he came across a group of thugs situated in a ring of sorts. Al was close enough now to make out what they were saying…

"What do you think you're doing down here?"

"Go back to your mountain!"

"Don't you gotta floss yer fangs or somethn'?"

His body moved without his knowing, one gauntlet landing heavily on the shoulder of one of the men. The man turned around with a scowl, a gap in his teeth and his hair balding. But the blood quickly ran out of his face as he looked up.

Alphonse Elric is oddly adorable to the people who knew him, despite being a large and empty suit of armor. However, to this man's vision, he looked up in the dark of the night to see a large, broad-shouldered figure glowering down at him with glowing red eyes. Naturally, he screamed, scrambling backwards just to turn heel and flee as quickly as his limbs would allow him. His friends followed suit, also terrified by the boy's appearance.

The desperate fleeing left Alphonse blinking innocently, still oblivious to people's reactions to his current form. He shook his helmet and clanked over to where a hunched-up figure was peering up at him from underneath their…horns?

"YOOO!" The child (?) greeted Alphonse loudly and unexpectedly, causing the armored spirit to stumble backwards in surprise. The small…lizard-like person blinked up at him. It was strange creature. Maybe about half of Ed's height, yellow-skinned with orange, horn-like fringes framing his scalp. The creature wore what looked like a large, striped sock as a shirt (as it was it didn't appear to have any arms.) As Al stared, the creature tilted its head more and more "Are you okay, mister?"

"O-oh! Y-yeah, I'm fine!" Al chirped a bit awkwardly "A-are you okay?"

The creature peered at him, nostrils flaring as if to take in his scent "Er…is this the first time you met a monster?"

Al stared, not quite sure how to respond. Luckily, the small monster seemed to know how.

"Woah! I'm the first monster you met? Cool!" The child seemed happy to hear this, jumping up and down "Hi! I'm M.K.!"

"M….K?" Al blinked "Er….are those your initials?"

"Yep!" M.K. chirped "It stands for 'Monster Kid'!"

Al wanted to ask why the child was named this, but afraid to be rude, he kept the question to himself and accepted the child's greeting as is.

"Well-Uh, are you okay, M.K.?" Al asked "Did those guys hurt you?"

"Oh nah, I'm good!" Monster Kid smiled "They kicked me around a bit, but nothing I can't handle!" He grinned as he finished his sentence, spreading his feet in defiance of the long-gone abusers. "Thanks for helping me though! You're pretty nice for a human!" He gasped as he finished his sentence, beginning to do a little dance "Not to say humans are mean! J-just you are nice-"

"No, it's okay." Al interrupted him, squatting down to be eye-level with the child. "I know what you're saying."

"Oh! Cool!" The child grinned "Say, what's your name?"

Al couldn't help but chuckle softly "My name is Alphonse."

"Alphonse? What a cool name!" The Monster Kid seemed to be sincere in this statement, hopping up and down to emphasize its delight. "Thanks again, Alphonse! But I better get going home! My parents are probably waiting for me."

"Oh, right." Al said, keeping his voice light "Do you want me to walk you there?"

M.K's eyes seemed to light up at the offer "Yeah! That would be AWESOME! You're so COOL, Mr. Alphonse!"

Al (somehow) blushed "Oh, t-thanks."

The duo went on their way through the town. Passing darkened windows and barred doors and eerily silent streets. Well, it would've been silent had it not been for the talkative nature of the monster kid. Al nodded patiently as the child chattered along about this and that, mentioning an 'Undyne' and an 'Asgore' and several other names (Al's a bit ashamed to say that he had tuned the boy out when he moved on from talking about how tall Asgore was).

"Here we are!" Chirped M.K., skipping up some steps to a small cottage (vaguely Al wondered how he managed to use doors).

"Oh, well okay." Al said "Have a good night, Monster Kid."

"Sure will!" he grinned "Thank you again for earlier-" Suddenly he started fidgeting, shifting from foot to foot in a nervous manner "O-oh, though! Uh, can you not mention that to my parents?" He grinned "They'd be SOOOOOOO worried!"

"Oh…Okay." Al said. He fidgeted with his gauntlets "I won't say anything to them, but I think you should tell them. They're- er, they would probably like to know."

Monster kid sighed, hanging his head a moment. Then spontaneously jumped up and grinned "Y'know what? You're right! I'll be sure to tell them." He then tilted his head "Er…when they wake up."

Al chuckled softly to himself "Well, okay. It was nice to meet you, M.K."

He laughed "Nice to meet you too, good night!"

Al gave another wave, trying to smile through his eyes and left.

Walking now, by himself, it was the eerily quiet I mentioned earlier. And without the chatter of the lizard-like child, it seemed a tad towards the lonesome, as well. But….but it wasn't anything the boy wasn't used to.

And the night seemed calm. Dark. Quiet. If he could feel anything, he might say it was brisk as well.

Calm.

…

Right? Calm. Perfectly, one-hundred percent, calm.

…

"NGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

 **A/N**

 **OH GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY WHATEVER SHALL HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER?**

 **Perhaps….**

 **AN ACTION SCENE?**

 **Or maybe we'll just chill with Sans and Alphys. Who knows?**

 **Fun story, I rewrote the second half of this chapter (featuring Ed) like, a million and a half times. I kept writing things and writing things. I just couldn't get it….write. (heh heh) So I just cut it out in its entirety.**

 **Well, you're all probably sick of me by now so I'll get going.**

 **Please leave a review, if you'd please.**


	12. Chapter 12

As the roar rung out, an arrow of blue shot from the darkness.

Al jumped back on reflex, because really the arrow-shaped spear couldn't have hurt him. But he knew how much Ed hated having to patch up his armor.

The one who had threw the weapon landed in front of him, squatting a moment before jumping to her feet. She said something, but Al didn't pay much attention as he was too busy trying process what really this woman WAS.

Clearly, she must have belonged in this monster village. Instead of skin, she had bright-blue scales. Something like fins replaced where her ears would've been, and she wore her bright red hair long, pulled back into a ponytail. Her left eye was covered with an eye patch, and the showing eye sported colors of red and yellow. Her tall, muscular, form donned armor with some sort of insignia carved into the breastplate and she brandished another shining spear in her gauntlet-covered hand. So…she looked something like a fish, maybe? In armor. Her long, sharp fangs bared themselves in a growl when finally her voice reached him.

"SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" She demanded.

Al fidgeted awkwardly a moment, then laughed a tad sheepishly "I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

She twitched, growling "Okay FINE. I saw you creeping around with M.K! What are you doing here then, _human!?"_ She spat.

"Oh, I was walking him home." Al said.

The fish-woman twitched, her grin curling upwards "Oh was that IT!?" She laughed, pointing the spear towards his chest "Like I'd believe THAT!"

Al tilted his helmet "If you thought I was up to something bad, why didn't you stop me after I left Monster Kid's house? That was at least twenty minutes ago."

Maybe it was the dim lighting, but maybe the fish monster blushed a bit. In her eyes, a recollection of a small white dog running off with her spear played out-

-in front of her.

The fluffy pup sprung through the air, caught the shaft of the spear in its mouth as it ran off playfully. The fish warrior roared again, stomping her foot angrily.

"YOU DUMB MUTT, GIVE THAT BACK!"

The dog responded with an adorable little tail wag. Al chuckled briefly. Then he squatted to the ground, softly calling the pup. Its ears perked up, pointing in his direction a moment before it trotted over. Al gave it a light pat on the head and took the spear out of its mouth. It then crouched to the ground, splaying its paws out in the dog equivalent of yelling at someone to play with them.

Al gave a startled squeak. "No doggy! You don't play with spears- Here." Al quickly scrawled out a transmutation circle, clapping his hand and creating a dog-friendly fetch stick. He gave it a toss, and the dog shot off with an excited bark.

Al chuckled, standing back up with the spear in his hand "That was a cute puppy."

"More like an _ANNOYING DOG-_ HEY!" She snapped, suddenly remembering the fight she picked. "You thought you could DISTRACT ME, kid!?"

"A little bit, yeah." Al said. He offered the spear back. The fish-woman hissed at the movement, spreading her feet and materializing a new one out of nothing. Of course, this just baffled Alphonse, so he asked "Wait, why didn't you just do that earlier?"

…

"BECAUSE SHUT UP!" She snapped, flinging the spear at Al. He promptly stepped out of the way, quickly acknowledging the similarities between her and his brother's fighting styles. Spears in the face with yelling. Really the only different was that this woman was at least six-feet tall. And maybe it was because of these similarities that he wasn't quite effected by her screech of rage.

Several more spears materialized, spinning in a showy fashion a moment or two before hurling at him. Al continued to either dodge or catch the spears, wondering vaguely what the best way to deal with this situation would be.

"Excuse me, Miss-" he said, ducking underneath a spearhead.

"WHAT!?" The warrior snapped, showing no sign of halting her assault.

"Can you please stop attacking me? I really wasn't up to anything bad. I just wanted to bring M.K. home safely." He tried to explain, although it was unclear whether or not his voice got through to her. The fish warrior lunged another spear through where he had been a moment ago. Al slid to the side "Ma'am, please-" he tried again. His response was another spear thrown at his head. Al acted quickly, grabbing the base of the spearhead as the point was barely an inch away from his helmet's face.

"STOP BLOCKING MY ATTACKS YOU WALKING TRASHCAN!" she snapped, twirling another spear into existence.

"T-trashcan?" Al whimpered as he ducked beneath another spear.

The woman's grin twitched up, one corner violently shaking. Her long fangs quivered in her rage. "WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?"

"Well Miss, I don't want to get stabbed." Al said, his voice trembling in memory of the 'trashcan' comment.

"WELL WHOOPTY- FUCKING- DOO-" She snapped.

A small voice cut her off.

"Come back doggy!"

Alphonse and his assailant halted in their spar, both turning to view the newcomer. The woman stared in a comedic manner, her one visible eye wide. Alphonse tilted his helmet, curious at the newcomer.

A child, no older than eleven, scampered onto the scene in pursuit of the pup from earlier. The small white dog ignored the child's calls, running up to Alphonse and dropping the stick at his feet. The child, huffing and puffing, scampered to Al without a second thought and scooped up the dog. The kid was fairly short, with short bobbed brown hair. Their eyes were wide and brown, shining bright behind the circular glasses that sat askew on their face. A loose blue sweater was worn over dark blue capris. Pajamas, by the looks of it.

"FRISK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" The woman snapped. The child looked up at her, holding the still-happy dog up at arm's length.

"I was chasing Toby." They explained.

"GO HOME!" The woman snapped.

"Oh, okay-"" Frisk cut themself off, looking up to Al. Their eyes narrowed into a glare "Wait, Undyne, are you attacking someone again?"

"I SAID GO HOME!" Undyne roared.

"NO!" Frisk snapped, hugging the dog, 'Toby', to their chest. They stuck their bottom lip out in a pout "Undyne, we talked about this! No attacking people!"

"Frisk, you don't get what's happening. Go HOME!" Undyne snapped theword 'home', twisting her body to kick Alphonse in the breastplate. In response, the armored spirit spun on one foot, putting himself between her and the child. Frisk sighed, pushing the seven-foot-tall suit of armor behind them with all the confidence in the world. They tilted their head upwards to look Undyne in the eye.

"What don't I get?" They asked.

Undyne growled "They were stalking M.K-"

"Stalking? Huh." Frisk blinked. They reached into their pocket, letting the happy dog hang from one arm like a suitcase. From their pocket they found a strange device Al had never seen before. One that lit up on the click of a button. They looked at it a moment, reading something apparently. "He texted me saying 'an armor guy saved my butt in town and walked me home he was super cool and'" they took a breath "…' wore armor and he's really nice oh I got to go to bed now bye'."

Undyne blinked, processing the run-on sentence that Monster-Kid somehow texted to Frisk. Al also blinked, peering over the child's head in an attempt to study the strange device. He jumped, startled, when they suddenly turned to look at him. They offered a hand for him to shake.

"I'm Frisk!" they smiled cheerfully. Al blinked, fidgeting a moment before gently taking their small hand in his gauntlet.

"My name is Alphonse." He said.

Frisk grinned "Thanks for helping Monster Kid!" they giggled "He gets into trouble a lot."

"Oh."Al chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck "Does he? Well I'm happy to help."

"HEY!" Undyne snapped "DON'T IGNORE ME!"

The two children responded with staring glances to her. Frisk shrugged her off and continued.

"That's Undyne. She's actually really nice." they said "She's just a bit overprotective."

"Oh." Al said "Er… How do you know her?"

"She's one of my friends." Frisk responded, smiling so genuinely Al couldn't doubt the statement.

"Well…Uh….Hi, Undyne." Al waved.

Undyne pouted, chewing on her cheek and she gripped her spear tighter and tighter "HI."

"Undyne!" Frisk scolded, putting one hand on their hip and still holding the dog in one arm. Toby barked happily, tail still wagging.

Undyne rolled her eyes, tossing the spear that evaporated into sparkling blue shards over her shoulder. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away. "Fine. Hi Alphonse." She mumbled.

Al laughed awkwardly once again "Er….Hi."

And thus there was an awkward silence. And there was only the noise of crickets chirping, Undyne growling, and Toby's panting. Then, out of nowhere, Frisk took a hold of Al's hand and began to lead him off.

"Well anyway Alphonse, I want you to meet my mom."

"Oh okay- What?" Al blinked as he was dragged off. Undyne snorted again, following them with one eye glaring indignantly at the armored spirit.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Howdy friends! It's me, the Great Papyrus- Oh wait nevermind. I'm not Papyrus. Sorry.**

 **So anywho, a Guest reviewer pointed out a bit of a flaw in the summary. And at first I was gonna argue or something, but then I read the summary and realized: 'hey, they were right'! SO thanks for pointing that out, mystery person, I think I fixed it.**

 **I'm actually pretty happy Al was the focus on this chapter. I've neglected him in past fics. For shame on me.**

 **Anyway, Frisk, Toby, and Undyne appeared in this chapter. Huzzah!**


	13. Chapter 13

The child, Frisk, didn't seem to be much for conversation contrary to first impressions. They were still very friendly, however. They would look up at Al in intervals, smiling widely as Toby trotted along at their heel. Al's size didn't seem to daunt them in the slightest, in fact….nothing really seemed to. Not the dark, dark night, or the empty suit of armor, or the murderous fish lady (whom still stalked them like a shadow).

It wasn't that long a walk. But it was a bit too quiet for Al's liking. So when they arrived at a small cottage, tucked away in the woods, he felt his spirits lift a bit. The lights in the windows were on, and a large shadow was seen in the window.

Frisk stopped abruptly.

"Uh oh." They said.

"Huh?" Al asked "Frisk, what's wrong?"

Frisk seemed a bit sheepish, looking up at him with a forced smile "I….uh….didn't leave a note or anything."

Undyne barked out a laugh. Laughing so loudly, that the shadow inside the house noticed. The door practically burst open as a large….goat…bunny….lady, stood in its frame.

"Frisk!" She shouted, scooping up the child and hugging them tightly. She didn't seem to notice Al yet. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, but her voice dropped into a scolding tone "Where have you BEEN!?"

"Chasing Toby." Frisk said curtly, motioning to the smiling dog. The woman gave a pup a glare, and the dog hung its head in shame. Taking a deep breathe, she stood up and dusted off her skirts. Making sure the wellbeing of her child was secure, she looked at Alphonse with a bit of a tilt of the head. She was really, _really,_ tall. Taller than Undyne, even. So much so she didn't even have to look up to meet his eyes.

"Who might you be?" She asked with a gentle smile.

"O-oh, I'm Alphonse." Al stammered. Toriel's eyes widened as he spoke, apparently she didn't expect a child's voice. But that look was quickly replaced by a warm smile. Al fidgeted "It's-er, It's nice to meet you."

"It is very nice to meet you as well, Alphonse." She smiled kindly. Her gaze lingered on him a moment before she turned it to Frisk. "Now, my child, I believe you should go back to bed?"

Frisk chuckled a bit "uh…Okay Mom- Hey! Hey wait!" They gasped, pointing a finger at Alphonse "Mom! Mom! It's dark out, it's late! He shouldn't be wandering around alone!"

"Wha-" Al blinked.

"I think he can take care of himself, Frisk." Undyne snorted "I fought him, he's pretty tough."

"I can make it back home-"

"But it's scary!" Frisk snapped back, clenching their hands into fists.

"I completely agree with Frisk, he shouldn't be out by himself this time of night." Toriel nodded sagely.

"Can I say something-"

"BUT TORIEL-" Undyne snapped.

"And neither should you!" Frisk interrupted, grabbing Undyne's hand. They smiled up at their mother widely. Toriel responded to them with a soft laugh.

"I agree with that as well. The two of you are staying here for the night." She said.

"Sleepover!" Frisk squealed happily, scooping up their dog and scurrying off.

"I shall make up the couch." Toriel declared, comfortably strolling off "Undyne, please do try to be courteous to our new friend."

"Fine." She snorted.

Al fidgeted "But my brother is going to be worried if I'm not back by the time he wakes up…"

"Just one night, Kid." Undyne rolled her eyes. She then grinned, punching him lightly in the arm "I'm sure your bro won't be too upset!"

"I-I don't think you understand, Miss Undyne!" Al stammered "My big brother is always jumping to worst-case scenario-"

"He'll be fine!" Undyne insisted.

"I got things for friendship bracelets!" Frisk cheered, running back into the room holding a box of colorful wires, beads, and strings.

"Er…." Al blinked a moment, then sighed. The smiling child grinned up at him. "I…I guess he won't worry _too_ much."

* * *

Ed yawned, stretching his arms over his head. Morning light filtered in through the window, right into his eyes. Ed mumbled his annoyance, rolling off the bed. He stretched again, reaching upwards. Rubbing at his eyes, he looked around the hotel room to notice an alarming lack of armor.

Ed blinked, his exhaustion forgotten and his eyes wide.

"Al?" he asked the empty room for the location of his brother. Edward set himself to a short, fruitless search. He snorted, crossing his arms "Where the hell did he wander off to?"

Ed thought for a moment, chewing on his lip. With an indignant shake of his head, he set about to dressing himself for the day. He left the suitcase in the hotel room, setting himself to continue his search for his brother elsewhere. He stopped at a bakery briefly, buying a cinnamon roll and shoving it into his mouth while walking about.

He's done this a few times. Al liked to go about to take nighttime walks, and he didn't always come back at a reasonable time. However, it was pretty easy to get a clue where the armored spirit was. Often Al was just petting a stray cat somewhere. And if that wasn't the case, then picking up rumors on him was quite simple. Seven-foot-tall suits of armor walking around weren't exactly something most people ignored. So it didn't take too long to hear word of him.

"I heard there was a suit of armor skulking around the streets last night."

"A suit of armor?"

Ed leaned against a wall around the corner, sipping casually out of a juice pouch he had bought from a street merchant as he eavesdropped. Two women were talking.

"It must have been one of those monsters!"

Ed raised an eyebrow at the word 'monsters'.

"Well that just makes sense! Some people have been saying that suit of armor went to that-that VILLAGE!"

Ed decided this was a good time to ask a question. He spun around the corner, one hand in his pocket and the other still holding his juice.

"So where's this village you two are talking about?"

The two woman jumped at the new member of their conversation. One of them scowled at him, reclining as if to distance herself. The other tilted her head, and said in a cooing voice:

"Oh no, little boy. That's a nasty village filled with mean ol' monsters. You don't wanna go there-" her sentence was cut off as she registered Ed's expression. His left eye twitched wildly, his mouth parting into a teeth-baring grin.

"D-did you just c-call me _liitttttllllleee?"_ He growled.

The pair gulped, exchanging fearful looks. The one who spoke earlier wildly waved her hands in front of her as if to fan the fuming child down "N-no! The monster village is up the mountain, Sweetie! Mount Ebott! I-It's that way!" She pointed.

Ed bit down his rant angrily, giving the lady a stiff nod and stormed off, still red with rage. The two women sighed their relief as he left.

He trudged up the mountain in relative silence, as it wouldn't make much sense to talk to himself. There was a vague path, travelled on often but not quite enough to make it obvious. It parted through ferns and dirt, snaking up the mountain side in a steep climb. He muttered his complaints, but didn't bother speaking louder than that.

He parted some bushes, and the site of the friendly village in the sunlight filled him with…..some sort of feeling.

He didn't really care to figure out what it was.

…

And really this wasn't as much of a 'village' as it was a very nature-oriented city. Many buildings lined well-cared paths, ranging in sizes and colors and materials. He spotted some steel, and some wood, some bricks, and…an igloo? Well that didn't make sense, but Ed barely paid attention to that. As the _residents_ of this town were what caught his attention.

None of them paid him much mind, scurrying about their business. There was….maybe three other humans, all chatting happily with their monster friends. Bi-pedal bunnies ran merchant stands, selling cinnamon 'buns' and popsicles. Huge dogs walked about, barking happily as they played with one another. A large group of spiders beckoned him over to their shop to buy a doughnut. He did, just because he was hungry (granted the doughnut tasted like it was made of rubber). Edward noted a building that looked like a restaurant, called 'Grillby's' (and the smell of the food wafting out the windows made him drool, so he'd be sure to stop by there after he found Al). The monsters came in a wide variety of shapes and sizes and colors, it was actually a bit too much to take in at once.

He was so busy staring he didn't notice stepping on someone's tail.

"ACK- FUCK-!" The owner of the tail snapped, swiping Ed's feet out from under him. The boy fell on his bottom with a thump, and of course he reacted appropriately.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" He snapped at the monster. A bi-pedal yellow lizard of sorts stand before him, most likely a male as his voice was considerably deep. His eyes were narrowed as he glowered down at the child, his teeth bared.

"You're asking ME that? You're the one who stepped on my tail!" He snapped.

Ed lurched to his feet, growling "You're the one who knocked me on my butt!"

"Well perhaps you should pay a bit more mind to what's going on around you, hm?" He muttered, tail twitching indignantly.

"FIGHT ME, OLD MAN!" Ed snapped.

The lizard tilted his head, raising one scaly brow cynically. "Oh, I see." He said flatly "This is your first time to Ebott-Town, huh?"

Ed grinded his teeth "So what if it is?"

The man shrugged "Well it'd explain why you're so careless." Edward grinded his teeth, glowering at this rather irritating monster. He opened his mouth to yell again but the man interrupted him. "My name is Marty. Now, your name." 'Marty' motioned to the boy as he said this, as if to guide him in the conversation.

 _'Like some sort of kid.'_ Ed thought angrily. Marty cleared his throat, tilting his head to emphasize the motion of his hand. Ed bit back the angry retort and growled out his name.

"There, better." Marty nodded. He crossed his arms over his chest "So what brings you here?"

Ed chewed his lip, eyes narrowed "None of your business."

"But it is." Marty said bluntly "Should you be here for any unruly purposes, I find it my responsibility to report you to someone who will dispatch of you."

"Is that a threat?" Ed hissed.

Marty didn't so much as change his expression "If you're not up to anything nefarious, then no."

Ed snorted, giving up on this guy entirely "I'm looking for someone. 'Bout seven feet tall. Wearing armor."

Marty raised an eyebrow "Greater Dog, RG 01, RG 02, Undyne, Sydna-"

"What are you rambling about?" Ed snapped.

"Those are all the people I know who fit that description." Marty snorted. "So be more specific."

Ed ran his palm down his face, barely keeping what little was left of his cool. "Has spikes on his shoulders."

"Oh, now that's new." Marty said with a head tilt. "I suppose I can give my daughter a call and see if she's seen anyone like that. Hold on a moment." He reached into his pants pocket, pulling out a small device. Ed stared as the monster's claws danced on the screen. Another voice was heard from the box, and Edward came to the conclusion this was some sort of advance phone.

"H-hi D-dad." Stuttered the other voice.

"Hey Alphys, Sweetie." Marty chirped, his voice changing drastically from bitter to light-hearted (and sounding very similar to another voice). "I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"W-well no…" Alphys stammered "B-but I-I have a f-friend over right n-now-"

"Oh goodness!" Marty seemed upset "Sorry, Sweetie. Can I just ask you a question real quick?"

"O-oh. Sure."

"Have you seen anyone wearing a large suit of armor? Besides the usual ones, anyway." He asked.

"U-uh…N-no…..? Why?" She asked.

"Well there's a human kid here looking for them." Marty said.

"O-oh, okay! U-um…. How about you g-go ask Toriel? She might know something about it." Alphys suggested. Marty gave a nod even though his daughter had no way of seeing it.

"Alrighty then. Bye sweetheart!" he chirped.

"B-bye Dad." Alphys sounded embarrassed, and after her farewell she hung up quickly. As soon as the call was over Marty's expression dropped back to its original scowl. He turned to Ed.

"So you heard her. We're going to go check in with Toriel-"

Ed interrupted him "What is that? It's like a phone but it glows?" he motioned to the device still in the man's hand. Marty tilted his head, the tip of his tail twitching.

"It's a cellphone."

"How does it work?"

Marty sighed, rubbing the side of his head "Oh boy, you're one of _those_ types."

"'Those' types?" Ed repeated, arching an eyebrow. The lizard man crossed his arms over his chest.

"The type to question everything." He reiterated.

"What's wrong with that?"

Marty chuckled a bit, turning with a twitch of his tail. "Nothing. Come on, now."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Hey look, Marty made it in.**

 **…I got nothing else to say.**


	14. Chapter 14

"So monsters are held together by… 'magic', right?" Asked the boy.

"Mmhmm." His lizard guide said with a nod. "From your tone, I'm guessing that's hard for you to believe."

"Well, yeah." Ed snorted "Magic isn't real."

"All right." Marty said, readjusting his glasses "What is 'magic', then, to you?"

Ed opened his mouth to respond, but upon finding he didn't quite have a response, he closed it again. He mulled over to himself a moment and finally came up with his answer.

"Something that's not real." He said, scrunching up his face. As Marty opened his mouth to offer a response, the boy continued with "So maybe our ideas of 'magic' are different then. I mean, magic isn't real, but to you it's real. It's the same name, but different things."

His guide smiled, bemused. He gave a sage nod of his head "That's quite open minded."

Ed gave him a big grin at the praise.

At the advice given from Alphys, Marty had taken it upon himself to guide Edward to the home of this 'Toriel' person. On the walk there (which was quite long, as the woman lived a bit of a ways outside the city), Ed had barraged the lizard-man with questions, eager to learn as much as he was able to about Monster life. Marty seemed to be quite knowledgeable, and this came from his background as a researcher (the only detail of himself he bluntly shared with Ed). So the man shared information about the monster's concept of SOULs, magic, and magical SOULs (why he insisted SOUL was spelt with all capitals was a mystery).

"Here we are." Marty said, motioning up a well-cared for path. Light shone through the leafy canopy, illuminating the homey cottage in a way that made it look like it came straight out of a child's story book.

"This is where that Toriel lady lives?" Ed blinked.

Marty nodded, turned, and gave a wave "Goodbye, Edward."

"WAIT, WHAT!?" Ed snapped "You're just LEAVING!?"

Marty nodded "Yeah. I still have some errands to run."

Ed stared "Uh…"

Marty gave him a forced smile "Toriel will help you find your brother, don't you worry." His expression shifted "But she doesn't like me too much, so I better get going."

"I can see why she doesn't like you." Ed muttered "You can be a bit of a prick."

"That is true." Marty said again "Just knock on the door, she'll be right with you. Bye."

"Bye." Ed snorted as he watched Marty walk away.

Now, standing in the dirt path and stripped of his guide, Ed felt quite vulnerable. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he felt uneasy alone. It was very uncomfortable without a living presence standing by his side. He was just so used to his brother being there….

Ed sighed, shook his head, and strolled up the dirt path. He was acting stupid, he knew that. It was simple: find Al, and go back to looking into that lead of theirs….

And then afterwards go back to that Grillby's place.

Ed knocked on the wooden door with his metal fist, and the knock was promptly answer by a series of yells, the loud crashes of objects being knocked over, and the holler of 'UNDYNE WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING', followed by 'It's okay Mom, none of us are hurt!', followed by a stampede of footsteps and the door being practically torn off its hinges.

Before him suddenly stood a tall bi-pedal…fish lady. With an eyepatch. Ed couldn't help but admire how cool she looked before he asked:

"Er….Are you Toriel?" For some reason he had his doubts.

"NOPE!" The lady grinned, she turned back inside the house and yelled out "TORIEL! SOME KID'S HERE TO SEE YOU!"

"Undyne, please lower you voice." Some spoke much more gently. A woman strolled into his line of sight, dressed in purple skirts. She was…very tall. White furred, horned, and with large claws and fangs to match. But despite all the sharp features, she seemed soft. And not just literally. Her smile was warm, her eyes gentle and her stride peaceful.

"Greetings." She said, looking down on him "How may I be of service?"

Ed shook himself out of his memories, exchanging them for his request "I'm looking for my brother. I was told you could help me find him?"

Toriel hummed to herself a moment, looking down at him thoughtfully "Would your brother happen to be named 'Alphonse'?"

"Yeah!" Ed said, staring. "How'd you know?"

Toriel chuckled briefly, moving to one side and beckoning him to enter her home. Despite every instinct the boy had accumulated about mindlessly wandering into a person's home, memories of stew and a mother drew him inside.

He followed her through a short hall, decorated lavishly with photos of her and her friends, he assumed. He saw several of a child with brown hair, several more of a pair of skeletons. One or two were of that fish lady, Undyne, and a monster who had a likeness to Marty. Alphys, Ed safely assumed. Aside from the photos, paintings of landscapes and potted plants displayed themselves to anyone who entered. The fragrance of cinnamon and flowers intermingled to create a pleasant aroma.

She led him to a living room, similarly decorated with flowers and photos. But the large suit of armor sitting cross-legged in the middle seemed to stick out-

"Alphonse!" Ed hollered, sprinting to his brother and skidding to his knees.

"Brother!" Al chirped. He then fidgeted with his gauntlets "Oh, I, uh, made you worry, didn't I?"

Ed snorted "Only a lot." His voice rose "Why the HELL were you staying here-"

"Excuse me!" Toriel interrupted, towering above them "I would appreciate you avoiding that kind of language in front of Frisk."

"Frisk?" Ed blinked. Al chuckled awkwardly, winning a confused stare from his older brother. The armored spirit shifted himself over slightly, revealing the child from the photos. They straightened their glasses and smiled broadly.

"Hello." They said.

"Er….Hi." Ed said meekly, suddenly feeling ashamed. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly "uh…Nice to meet you, Frisk."

The child giggled a moment, then shot fingers guns in his direction "Makes since 'hell' was the first word you used around me, 'cause you're hell-a fine."

"What." Ed blinked, flushing red. Al chuckled, Undyne started roaring with laughter, and Toriel had began scolding the child while holding back her own laughter.

After that whole fiasco, Toriel insisted the brothers stayed a while longer to eat some pie she had baked. As Ed hadn't eaten in a good half hour, he jumped right on the offer. Al politely came up with an excuse to not eat a thing. It was when Toriel offered Undyne some that she said something interesting…

"Sorry Toriel, I can't right now." She refused, shaking her head "I gotta get back to Alphys." A wide grin spread across her fishy lips "And really, you should all come with me!"

"Hm? Why is that?" Toriel inquired, tilting her head ever-so-slightly to the side.

"'Cause apparently Sans came back last night!"

"Sans?" Frisk jumped at the name, eyes shining bright and eager "Sans is back?"

Ed and Al exchanged a look.

"Oh! Then I suppose we should wrap this pie up to go, hm?" Toriel smiled "Well, after the boys get their share-"

"They should come with us!" Frisk said. "So that way they can meet Sans and Alphys!"

"I got no objections here, punk!" Undyne grinned.

"I believe that is for them to decide." Toriel interrupted "Last night, Alphonse had seemed in quite a hurry to leave, so it is most likely they had something they needed to do."

"Oh." Frisk said, disappointed.

Ed and Al gave each other another look, and with a silent nod they reached an agreement.

"Nah, we'd love to go meet your friends." Ed said, grinning. He ruffled Frisk's hair, who had giggled lightly before swatting his hands away. Ed finished with a bit less light-hearted statement "Well, as long as I don't get flirted with again."

"No promises." Frisk smiled.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Hey look an update. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER!? WHO KNOWS?**

 **Me.**

 **Anyway, for those of you wondering who the frickle frackle Marty is, he's one of my Undertale OCs for my fanfic 'Long Ago'. He's my favorite one, so he got a cameo.**


	15. Chapter 15

They walked to where Alphys lived. And on the way there, Undyne and Frisk informed Edward of how they met Alphonse. The story left Ed laughing.

"W-wow! You were dumb enough to try and beat Al!?" He chuckled. A wide grin stretched over his face as he jerked a thumb to his brother "Al's the toughest guy I know! Even _I_ can't beat him!"

"Oh, what? Like beating you is hard?" Undyne challenged, grinning broadly as she leaned on Edward, using his head as an armrest. "I could _SQUISH_ you!"

"Miss Undyne, please don't-" Al stammered, being promptly interrupted.

"WhatEVER are you insinuating?" Ed growled out through his teeth. This response was rewarded with Undyne barking out another loud laugh, throwing her head back. She roughly ruffled Ed's hair.

"I'm sayin' you're a RUNT!" She grinned.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK MIDGET!?" Ed snapped, swatting Undyne's hand away.

"No one said that." Frisk informed him gently. They smiled "And I'm shorter than you! So I'm the runtiest runt!"

The response threw Ed's tantrum off kilter. He gave the kid a grin, then Undyne a glare, then resumed to sulk by his brother whom attempted to fan him down.

"Now, now." Toriel chided "There is no shame in being young, Edward. You'll grow in time."

Ed snorted and averted his eyes, a light pink blush gracing his cheeks "Yeah, fine. I guess so."

"Yeah, Brother!" Al chirped "Maybe one day you'll be up to my elbow!"

Ed threw his metal leg out to one side, kicking out ones of Al's legs from under him and sending the armor stumbling forwards. Upon the armor's peeved glare back to him, Edward rose his shoulders in a shrug and did nothing to hide his snickering.

Toriel shook her head, smiling fondly at their antics as she led the way. They all calmed down then to continue their trek. Undyne continued to talk loudly about Alphys, whom was apparently her wife. As such, she seemed to have a lot of good things to say about the woman. But close to nothing about this other 'Sans'. If it was a different Sans, that is.

Ed hummed to himself, only half-listening to Undyne's rambling. His memory took him back to Roy's office, to wrapping his arms around Major Skell to feel the man's ribs all too vividly. The strangeness of the man's perpetual smile, the vague understanding of his bandages, the photos of two skeletons in Toriel's home….

What was the major's full name, again?

'Sans T. Skell' - …as in, by any chance, 'Sans the Skeleton'?

Ed snorted in amusement at the thought. That probably wasn't the case. He was probably reading too much into it and letting his mind wander a bit too far… But really he didn't mind this detour too much. The monsters seemed interesting, kind, even. Frisk was a bit…strange, but likeable. Undyne was loud, rude, annoying, aggravating, filled with sharp teeth and magical spears, but she had a pretty darn cool eyepatch. And Toriel-

Ed directed his thoughts elsewhere.

The path they tread was very neat, very well cared for and maintaining the fairytale-esque atmosphere that Toriel's cottage had. It was bright, with sunlight filtering in through the branches overhead and the lush green of the grass that lined a flattened dirt path.

White and yellow butterflies would flutter along the sidelines, bring emphasis to the shadows that the trunks cast. A slight breeze blew, pulling hair and clothing along to wave in its wake.

The path itself was wide enough for them all to walk side-by-side, if they wanted. But Toriel led the way, Frisk at her side. Undyne leapt back and forth in time with her stories and comments. But for the most part, Ed and Al trailed behind.

Somewhere around noon, with the sun blazing directly above their heads, they came across another building. It was made of metal and steel, looking like a cinderblock dropped in the middle of a forest clearing. The front door was elevated off the ground, with three cement steps leading up to it. A few window were built into the side of the walls, covered by closed blinds. And outside the house, a garden grew wild with brambles and rhubarb, and several dumbbells, strangely placed boulders, and near destroyed targets littered the overgrown yard.

Toriel scowled at the mess.

"Undyne, can you perhaps try to maintain the upkeep here?"

"What are you talking about, Toriel? It looks GREAT! JUST how I like it! WILD!" She grinned, flexing her arms for no apparent reason. She had some impressive muscles for a fish.

As the two women held their strange conversation, Frisk hopped up the steps to the house, the brothers tailing after them. The child knocked on the door a moment, then rocked on their heels until it opened. Another dinosaur monster, Alphys, answered the knocked. She smiled widely upon seeing the child and held her arms open, to which Frisk threw their arms around her and squeezed tightly.

"H-H-hi, Frisk!" Alphys half laughed, half wheezed. She giggled to herself, pushing the child away and straightening her glasses. The smile remained until her gaze caught on the brothers. Then the corners of her mouth turned upwards, a bit too tight and bit too awkward. "H-h-hi!" She stammered "U-uh, are you s-some of Frisk's friends?"

Frisk answered with a nod and motioned to each of the brothers in turn "This is Edward and Alphonse."

"H-h-hi!" Alphys greeted, legs shaking a bit "I-I-I'm Alphys! Uh…Nice to meet you!"

Al kept his voice light "It's very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Alphys."

Ed grunted his greeting, trying not to make his staring into her home too obvious. When it looked like Alphys was going to ask him what was up, Undyne tackled her into what seemed to be a spine-crushing hug.

"HEYA BABE!" She grinned.

"U-Undyne, a-a-ir-" Alphys sputtered happily.

"Oh, right, gotcha." Undyne chirped, gingerly placing the dinosaur onto the ground. Undyne turned to her guests (Toriel had joined the children at the door by this point), and motioned with them to into with a wave of her hand. The fish lady all but marched down the hall, Frisk at her heels and imitating her motions.

"So, I here Sans has come for a visit?" Toriel asked.

"Y-yeah!" Alphys chirped, smiling "He, uh, showed up late last night."

"Oh, I see." Toriel said, sighing a bit.

"That's why he didn't call!" Frisk exclaimed "He probably thought we were asleep!"

"Weren't you?" Alphys asked.

Frisk chuckled, gave a shake of their head, and rolled up their sleeves to reveal a large assortment of friendship bracelets. "Alphonse, Undyne and I were up most of the night makin' bracelets!"

"YEAH!" Undyne butted in, holding up her red hair to reveal several hair ties made from weaved thread. She nudged Al "C'mon, show her yours!"

Ed gave his brother a look, to which Alphonse responded with a slight shrug, a light chuckle, and the presenting of many bracelets wrapped about the wrist of his armor (that Ed realized he hadn't noticed until then).

"O-oh!" Alphys smiled "Well, it seems like you all had fun!"

"Yeah! Tonight maybe Sans can make friendship bracelets- SANS!" Frisk howled, darting past Alphys and Undyne to tackle a newcomer.

A skeleton monster took the tackle with a light 'oof!', followed by him ruffling the child's hair affectionately as they wrapped their arms around his torso.

"heya, kid." Said the familiar voice.

Ed stared at him. Al seemed to make the same connections, but he politely said:

"Hello."

The skeleton, Sans, reacted to the greeting by jerking his skull up, the pinpricks of lights in his empty eye sockets darting between both brothers for a moment or two. Sweat somehow beaded on his skull, but his voice was level as he said "sup."

"Hello, Sans!" Toriel smiled, oblivious to the Elrics' plight. She strolled over to Sans quickly, scooped both him and Frisk up into the air, and smothered them both in her fluffy embrace "Welcome home!"

"heheh, thanks t." Sans chuckled. Frisk giggled, tightening their grip on the skeleton. Sans winked "aw, c'mon kid, you're really…. _homing_ it in, huh?"

Toriel giggled wildly, having to place both of them back onto the floor in favor of covering her mouth with her paws. Frisk only laughed little. They looked a little bit crestfallen.

"HEY YOU BAG OF BONES!" Undyne roared, scooping Sans up and squeezing him roughly.

"ow, my non-existing lungs." Sans said, monotone.

"WHATEVER! WELCOME HOME!" Undyne grinned.

"thanks, Undies." Sans winked. He was promptly thrown harshly against the floor. At least, if he followed the rules of physics he should've been. Instead, upon being pelted to the ground, he stopped mid-fall and just…. Floated.

"….What." Undyne blinked.

Sans shrugged "guess i was too lazy to fall the entire way."

Frisk forced a smiled, fidgeting with their hands a moment. Then their gaze flitted over to the brothers, the shorter of which was looking at them with blatant concern. They quickly gave a wide smile, skipped up to Sans, and dragged him back on the ground and over to the brothers.

"Sans, these are my new friends! Edward and Alphonse!" They introduced happily.

"Oh, hello Mr. Sans." Al greeted politely.

Ed tore his gaze away from the child. He was becoming a bit overwhelmed with everything going on, so he'd focus on the first thing on his mind. So he hissed out.

"Yeah, hello _again."_

His eye sockets went black for a moment. But just for a moment. The pinpricks were back before anyone else noticed.

"'Again'?" Toriel repeated.

"Wha? Have you met these twerps before, Sans?" Undyne asked. Alphys's eyes widened, locked on Sans a moment, then the brothers, then she proceeded to hide underneath her tail, mumbling profusely.

"can't say i have." He lied, scratching the side of his skull.

"BULLSHIT!" Ed snapped, the lid he had on his temper exploding and the debris falling out of existence. Upon the shocked gasps from Toriel and the whimper from Frisk, Ed lowered his voice. It was soft, coming out almost as whisper, but the command in it was evident. "Can we have a word with Sans alone for a moment?"

Toriel took a breath, scanned the assembled people, and gave a curt nod of her head "Yes, I understand. Come along, my child." She took Frisk's hand in her paw and led the child out of the room. Alphys scurried after them, squeaking:

"H-hey, Frisk! I-I got some new anime!" And disappeared after them. Undyne crossed her arms over her chest and refused to budge.

Al fidgeted, shifting his weight "Uh, Miss Undyne-"

"This is about the whole military thing, isn't it?" Undyne interrupted, growling "I know 'bout that, too."

"yeesh, undies." Sans muttered, scratching the side of his skull "if ya hadn't said anything, i probably could've kept 'em from blowin' my cover."

"So you ARE the Major!" Ed exclaimed.

"bingo." Sans shrugged. He winked at Ed, tilting his head to the side "y'figured me out. so what now?"

Ed opened his mouth to respond. Then closed it. Then opened it again only to realize he had nothing to say. He shoved his hands into his pants' pockets and muttered "Can you tell us _why_ you did it?"

Al nodded "Yeah, uh, Mr. Skell-"

"' _SKELL'_?" Undyne repeated with an amused snort. She grinned down on Sans "Is that your alias?"

Sans chuckled and shrugged "yep, i'm sans t. skell."

"DUDE!" Undyne barked, laughing "That-That's such a lazy name! What does the 't' stand for?"

"the." Sans grinned as he answered.

"HA!" Undyne howled, smacking Sans's back roughly. Sans toppled forward and face-planted onto the floor.

"ow."

"Um….We're still here." Al reminded them. The two monsters stopped their antics and gave both brothers an apologetic shrug of the shoulders. Sans cleared his non-existent throat and rubbed the back of his skull.

"so…er, yeah. you figured me out. so now what?"

"Now you tell us _why."_ Ed grumbled "Why would you bother with the disguise, and why would you put yourself at such a big risk?"

"i love my country?" Sans offered pitifully.

"For his brother." Undyne answered for him. Sans avoided her gaze, as well as the gazes of the brothers. The fish-warrior sighed, and motioned for all of them to take a seat at the table. Now more confused, as well as concerned, they settled down across from one another. Sans's eye sockets were black and dark, and his smile was flat. "First off…" Undyne said, drumming her fingers on the table top "Thank you for getting Frisk out of the room. This is a pretty dark subject for a kid." She took a breath, looked to Sans, and upon realizing the small skeleton wasn't going to be of any help, she told the story solo.

"So, for a long, long frickin' time, monsters have been sealed underground by this thing called the 'Barrier', right? And a few years ago, that thing frickin shattered and we were all free to roam the surface. Papyrus, Sans's brother, was a bit…. Too eager to meet humanity. He ran off to introduce himself…and…..uh…." She suddenly couldn't focused, clawing at the edge of the table.

"He never came back." Sans muttered.

"What-" Ed choked, eyes widening.

Al fidgeted "I-Do you think-"

"He's not dead." Sans said, shaking his head. He gave a forced grin and wink "Trust me on this one, kiddos. I'd know." The light in his eye sockets met Ed's eyes a moment, but quickly faltered to stare downwards. "But…I, er, figured that the military would know of any wandering skeletons, so…." He shrugged "Yeah."

"Y'get it now, punks?" Undyne mumbled, crossed her arms.

A moment passed. The brothers nodded.

"Great." Undyne said. Her one eye locked onto them, glaring them down "So if you go and blow Sans's cover, I have a good reason to _end_ you."

"sorry, but same." Sans added.

"No, we get it!" Ed spat.

"Sure you do." Undyne murmured, now drumming her fingers, her claws turned towards them, tapping and tapping against her biceps. She bared her fangs.

"We won't tell anyone." Al reassured. He fidgeted a moment, exchanging a look with his elder brother. Ed chewed his cheek a moment before giving a curt nod. He turned back to the monsters.

"So, one of the key principles of ours is a little something called 'Equivalent Exchange'." The blond said, he motioned to Al with a wave of his hand "Your secret for ours, then it's even, right?"

Undyne raised a brow. Sans seemed to be slouching more and more.

Al took off his helmet.

"HOLY SHIT- YOU'RE EMPTY!" Undyne shrieked, hurdling backwards over her chair. She scrambled back up, bracing herself on either of Al's shoulders and diving into his armor. Her echoing voice yelled back out "THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!"

Al flailed, dropping his helmet (which Ed dived to catch).

"M-miss Undyne!" Alphonse yelped, desperately trying to get a grip on the fish lady. Before he could, Undyne glowed blue, being pulled out of the armor but some unseen force. She was sat back into her chair. Sans dismissed the magic and put his hand back in his pocket, watching as the brothers put themselves back together. When they calmed down, Al fidgeted, awkward under Undyne's flabbergasted stare.

Ed shot the fish a glare, then shifted his attention to Sans.

"So?" he said.

"so?" Sans repeated. He shrugged, then winked "i appreciate the honesty and all, kiddos, but i…well i already knew that."

It was the brothers' turn to stare flabbergasted.

"When and how?" Ed asked.

Sans shrugged "i just thought it was obvious."

"HOW THE HELL DOES ANYONE EVEN COME TO THAT CONCLUSION!?" Ed snapped.

Sans rose a magically appearing eyebrow "dude, you're talkin' to a skeleton."

….

"He's got you there, Brother."

"SHUT UP AL."

Sans chuckled at their continuing banter, slouching back in his seat. His smile faltered. Even with Undyne joining in their antics, he found himself only vaguely aware of their presence. Maybe, maybe the brothers would be willing to help him find Papyrus….

Wherever he was….

….

…

..

.

The man muttered as he pushed open the thick doors. A clipboard tucked under his arms and his pens being chewed upon, he hissed his disdain for his task. Of course, he closed the door behind him. It slammed shut with a loud _BANG!_

He grimaced, swearing under his breath.

"HELLO AGAIN, MISTER PHYLLIS!" loudly greeted the thing from where it was in its cage.

"Shut up." Phyllis commanded curtly.

"OKAY!" said the monster, apparently agreeing.

Phyllis rolled his eyes, praying the strange thing would actually listen to orders for once. He jotted down some notes, how the specimen seemed to be doing, personality, reactions… All static. After a year or two of this you think it'd learn to shut up. Really, were Phyllis's superiors sane, they would've gotten rid of this thing a week after they obtained it.

But a walking, talking, 6-foot-eight skeleton was a bit too interesting to pass up.

"MR. PHYLLIS, MIGHT I ASK A QUESTION?" it asked.

"You just did." Phyllis hissed.

"MIGHT I ASK ANOTHER QUESTION?"

Phyllis groaned, rubbing circles into his temple _"WHAT?"_

"WHEN CAN I GO HOME?"

Phyllis kicked the bars to the thing's cage, shaking the bars and causing the thing to scramble back to the wall. It seemed like it learned better than to be within smacking distance, at least. Phyllis hissed.

"Listen, thing. We've been over this a million times. We're NOT letting you go, we don't CARE who you miss, and you're staying here until you DIE." The man kicked the bars, timing them to echo his shouts. The skeleton fidgeted, evading its gaze.

Phyllis grumbled, quickly jotted down a summary, and left the thing alone.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **OH MY GOD PHYLLIS WHY ARE YOU SO HORRIBLE YOU'RE WORSE THAN MARTY.**


	16. Chapter 16

"Is everything all right?" Asked a small voice. Ed, Al, Undyne and Sans all jumped a little at the sudden intrusion. Peaking around the corner was Frisk, frowning. "I heard yelling." They explained, shying away from the collective stares.

Ed grinned the same time Undyne did "Yeah, we're fine!" "Nothing's wrong, squirt!" Ed and her said at the same time.

Frisk fidgeted with their hands "You sure?"

"sure i'm sure." Sans said, grinning. He was suddenly by the child, ruffling the kid's hair.

"It's okay, Frisk, we got everything sorted out." Al assured them.

Frisk looked up at him a moment, then slowly nodded "Okay…."

"So…don't you worry!" Ed grinned.

" _Don't you worry PFFFT!"_ a voice mimicked, mocking the boy's tone. Ed flinched, grinding his teeth into a growl as he glared about, searching for the source of the voice. It seemed to be amused by this _"Haha! You having trouble seeing me from down there, squirt?"_

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?" Ed snapped.

" _What, you can't hear me either-_ AH! AH! FUCK! SANS PUT ME DOWN!" The voice squealed. Sans was grinning, holding a rather loud flower in between his phalanges. Ed blinked, about to make his way over when Frisk zipped past him and put their hands on their hips, glaring the flower down.

"Flowey!" they scolded "We talked about being mean!"

"S-sorry,Frisk." The flower, 'Flowey', stammered. He smiled chipperly at the Elrics brothers "Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the F-"

"fuckface." Sans finished his sentence, smirking.

"Sans!" Frisk pouted.

"sorry kid." Sans chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. Frisk rolled their eyes, then held their hands out. Sans placed the obnoxious flower in the child's outstretched palms and the flower eagerly wiggled his roots around their fingers. Frisk then trotted over to Edward and Alphonse, holding the flower.

"This is Flowey!" they smiled as they introduced him. Ed, still angered by the comments made earlier, twitched in agitation.

"Hiiii _iiiiii._ " He dragged the word out through his teeth, grinning broadly.

"Hello!" Al chirped quickly, putting his arm in between his older brother and the flower. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Alphonse."

"Yeah, Alphonse the _trashcan._ " Flowey sneered. Al whimpered, fidgeting.

"Oh, a joke! Haha….funny." He said half-heartedly. Frisk shook the plant harshly.

"That was mean!" The spat, puffing their cheeks out. The flower somehow shrugged, shrinking down on himself under Frisk's glare. The child shook their head in disapproval, but smiled up at Alphonse "I'm sorry. I don't think you're a garbage can."

"…Thank you." Al said, unable to be upset when the child was smiling so sincerely at him.

"And even if you are…" Frisk purred, hitching up an eyebrow mischievously.

"Oh God." Flowey moaned, wilting.

"here it comes." Sans grinned.

"One man's trash…. Is my treasure." The child winked, smirking. Al somehow blushed.

"O-oh…"

"Quite a charmer, aren'tya, Al?" Ed chuckled, nudging Alphonse with his elbow. Al elbowed him back, pushing him a few inches away.

"Oh dear, is this where you ran off to, Frisk?" the feminine voice of Toriel spoke, walking into the dining room with Alphys at her heels. She shook her head, smiling fondly "Flirting with Alphonse now, are we?"

Frisk shook their head with a light giggle as Flowey yelled out complaints. Toriel smiled again, a bit...sadder, her eyes reflecting something from long ago…. But she quickly returned to the situation at hand, turning to the boys.

"Have you spoke with Sans and Undyne about what you needed to?" she asked.

"Yeah." Al nodded. Ed muttered a confirmation, turning away from her. She tilted her head a bit to the side, frowning. She looked at Alphonse for some sort of hint, and was disappointed when the armored spirit responded with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"T-that's g-good!" Alphys stammered, trotting over to Undyne's side. The fish lady picked the lizard lady up in a tight embrace, the small yellow woman giggling and squirming happily.

"Now I finally get to spend some time with you, babe!" Undyne grinned.

"I-I'm happy you're h-here too-hey!" She yelped as Undyne sprinted up the stairs. The warrior shouted loudly, making sure everyone heard…

"NOW YOU WE CAN WATCH SOME ANIME!"

"Y-YOU WERE ONLY G-GONE FOR A F-FEW HOURS!"

"TWELVE! TOO LONG!"

The remaining of the group watched them go about their way. And when the sounds of their voices faded, Sans chuckled.

"aren't they cute?" he grined.

"Sure." Ed shrugged. His stomach then growled, reminding everyone that it was about time for lunch. Toriel laughed softly.

"I suppose I shall make lunch, then?" she said.

A light blush crept across Ed's face and he stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. "Yeah, yeah okay."

"Oh come on, Ed." Al chirped "You know how you can get when you're hungry!"

"hm..lunch…" Sans mused to himself, leaning on one arm "man, it's been forever since i ate at grillby's…."

"Oh?" Toriel blinked, she tilted her head, humming a moment. Then she smiled widely "I have an idea. Perhaps you can take Alphonse and Edward to Grillby's, hm Sans?"

"a good idea." Sans muttered "but it's been a long time since i had yer cookin', too…."

"I shall simply make you all dinner." Toriel smiled at him. Her smile dropped into a frown, and she wrung out her paws "You will be around for dinner, will you not?"

"sure I will." Sans said with a shrug. He looked over to the two brothers "and you two? i'm tellin' ya this now, tori's a real good cook."

"Is she?" Ed blinked, crossing his arms and obviously debating with himself. Al chuckled a bit.

"The library's not going anywhere, Ed. We can stay here another day." He said.

Ed frowned "But, Al…"

"It's okay." Al chirped.

Ed didn't seem convinced.

"c'mon, edo." Sans said "think about learning all 'bout us monsters and stuff." He winked "it'd be fun."

"Yeah, Brother!" Al said, a smiled in his voice as he clapped his hands together "I'd love to see more about these guys, I only got to see a little bit."

"Well…" Ed muttered, fidgeting. He sighed, then looked up to his brother with a soft smile "Okay, Al, if that's what you want."

Al nodded happily.

"great." Sans grinned "i'll take you all to grillby's then."

"Yay! Grillby's!" Frisk cheered.

"Oh nooo, Grillby's…" Flowey moaned, though he twitched in anticipation, eager to go.

"all right then-"

"None for you two." Toriel said to Flowey and Frisk, wagging her finger at them chidingly. "You've had enough junkfood lately."

"But _Mooooommm"_ "MOOMMMMYYYYYY" Frisk and Flowey both whined.

"Hush. I won't hear it." Toriel told them curtly. Frisk and Flowey bent their heads in defeat. Sans chuckled, reaching over to ruffle Frisk's hair.

"i'll be around for a while yet, kid." He assured them. Frisk smiled happily at that, immediately in higher spirits. They nodded.

"Well GET LOST already!" Flowey snapped.

"We've talked about that attitude, young man."

"I mean…." The flower's face twisted, forming into an imitation of Toriel's, and with her voice he said "Do get along, will you not?"

Frisk chuckled. Toriel pouted, but quickly replaced the pout with a small smile.

Sans laughed, then offered his hands to the Elrics. When they stared at him, confused, he winked and said "c'mon, i know a shortcut."

Ed and Al exchanged a look, silently agreeing to something as they both piled their hands ontop of the phalanges of the blue alchemist.

In a flash of scenery, they were suddenly in front of a restaurant. The smells wafting through the doors and windows made Ed drool immediately, but his attention was trained elsewhere.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" He snapped, throwing is arms up in the air.

"oh, did i mention i can teleport?" Sans winked "'cause i can."

…

"You're a bit weird, Mr. Sans." Al said.

Sans shrugged "maybe i am."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Wowza what a long update time. Oh well. I hope this chapter was worth it.**

 **Sorry Phyllis didn't make it in this one, I know how much you all love him. (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm)**


	17. Chapter 17

"heya grillbz." Sans said, leading the way into the establishment. Edward and Alphonse tailed behind, exchanging unsure looks. Upon entering the building, several cries of greetings rang up from the present monsters (and a human or two).

"Hey Sansy~." A rabbit-like creature called, waving drunkenly to him.

"Hi Sans!" "Hello Sans." A pair of hooded dogs barked simultaneously.

"Hi Sans!" A black spotted-dog waved "Thanks for WALKING into the place this time."

"sure thing." Sans said with a shrug.

"Bark bark!" "BOOF!" two other dogs woofed, both wearing armor. They raced over to Sans, the smaller one scooping him up in a hug as the large one (who was maybe a bit bigger than Al) danced impatiently to hug the skeleton. Upon seeing Edward, however, the large dog lunged suddenly, tackling Ed to the ground affectionately.

"H-hey!" Ed sputtered through the fur, pushing against the dog "Get off of me!"

"aw, he likes you." Sans chuckled. He snapped, pointing down to the floor "greater dog, down."

The dog- Greater Dog, obeyed, scrambling off Ed and wagging its tail happily as Sans scratched behind the canine's ear.

"Hey, Sans!" A red duck-like creature hollered "Where have you been?"

"at work." Sans answered bluntly. Everyone in the restaurant seemed to accept this answer, as a chorus of 'okay's and 'mmhmm's went around. The intoxicated rabbit from earlier stumbled up to Al, hooking her paws around the crook of his arm.

"H-eeey~!" She swooned "Sansy, who's your friend~?"

"Uh…." Al stammered, looking to Ed for support. Ed threw his arms up in the air to signal 'I DUNNO'. Sans gently pushed the rabbit away from the armored spirt.

"he's a minor, drunk bunny." He said.

"Oh. Wow." The bunny laughed awkwardly, patting Al on the arm "S-sorry 'bout that, kiddo…. Still getting used to that surface thing…"

"Surface thing?" Al repeated, attempting to discard how awkward that encounter was.

"yep." Sans said, beginning to explain "back underground, kids always wore striped shirts. they don't do that on the surface, so some monsters still get a bit on the con-fuzz-led side."

"That pun was awful." Ed muttered.

"thanks." Sans grinned. He cleared his throat, jerking a thumb at the empty stools at the bar "c'mon kids, let's go sit down and order some grub."

"You're paying." Ed declared, not giving the small skeleton the chance to protest as he raced towards the bar, hurdling himself into one of the seats. Sans shrugged, hopping onto one himself and motioning for Al to seat himself in the empty stool next to Ed. Al obliged, settling down awkwardly between them.

"so grillbz" Sans said, looking up at the man made of fire "how are thing with ya?"

The man only gave a crackle in response. But apparently, Sans knew how to interpret this, as he nodding along with an 'mmhm'. Ed didn't seem to notice that enigma that was standing in front of him with his nose deep in the menu. Golden eyes scanned the words, and drool was beginning to trail at the edge of his mouth. A faint grumble was heard so one could come to the conclusion he was, in fact, hungry.

"I'll take a burger!" Ed grinned. The man, 'Grillby' judging by the sign out front, nodded his understanding and scratched the order down on a piece of paper. He pointed the pen at Alphonse.

"Wha…" Al murmured, he then jumped with a bit of a start "Oh, I'm not hungry-"

"he'll have some fries." Sans interrupted "and i'll have a bottle of ketchup."

Grillby nodded, writing down the order and retreating into the kitchen. Ed and Al shot Sans a bamboozled look.

"Yo, Sans" Ed muttered "Thanks and all, but Al can't _eat_."

"well, supposedly." Sans hummed, leaning on one arm "i gotta theory i wanna test here. just sayin' real quick, kid, _i_ eat."

"…You DO, don't you?" Al exclaimed, turning to Ed "But I mean, I couldn't eat any food before, so why-"

"'cause that was human food." Sans interrupted him again "monster food is different."

"How?" Ed asked, wide-eyed.

Sans chuckled "well, kid, monsters are made primarily of the magic that their SOULs emit, therefore, monster food is meant to feed the SOUL, not the body."

"So Al could eat your food!?" Ed gasped, leaning towards him.

"in theory."

Ed and Al exchanged an excited look, and Al was practically shaking with how eager he was to test this hypothesis. After what seemed like forever, the food arrived and Al hesitantly picked up a fry. He gave Ed a look, asking for reassurance. Ed motioned for him to go on ahead, smiling softly.

Al would've took a breath had he lungs. So instead he settled with raising his shoulders and letting them back down. He smooshed the fry against his helmet's face. Sans and Ed stared, waiting for a response.

….

"I can eat it!" Al gasped happily, hugging Ed to him harshly. Ed ignored the sound of his ribs cracking and instead grinned.

"You can?"

"Y-yeah!" Al's voice cracked as he spoke with what might be sobs. He turned to Sans, trembling "T-thank you, Mister Sans- Thanks-"

"no problem, kiddo." Sans winked, putting the nozzle of the ketchup bottle to his teeth.

Al nodded happily, eagerly gulping down the fries he got. Ed smiled, watching his brother with gentle eyes.

Sans only glanced at him briefly, but he was VERY good at reading faces.

The golden-haired boy was relieved, of course. But not just because his brother was happy, but because some sort of weight had been lifted. Guilt, perhaps? A fraction of it, anyway. Ed's shoulders were down. His eyes were soft, but dark. He barely touched his burger before pushing it over for Al, who thanked him whole heartedly before scarfing it down.

And Al's manners left much to be discussed, but considering the circumstance, it was forgiven.

"so." Sans asked, breaking the relative silence. He swirled his ketchup around, keeping it from getting too watery "how'd you end up like that anyway, Al?"

Al stopped eating for a minute. But that didn't last too long as a second later he was back to slowly nibbling (?) on the burger. He looked at Ed, unsure.

"…." Ed didn't respond at first.

"okay, okay, forgeddaboutit." Sans said, raising his hands in the air "it's a sore subject from what i gathered, so i'll shuddup-"

"How much do you know about alchemy?" Ed asked.

Sans blinked, taken aback "er….don't mean to brag, but quite a bit."

"How much do you know about Human Transmutation?"

Sans eye sockets went dark "….That it's a bad idea."

"That's the jist of it, then." Ed muttered, motioning to himself then to Al "This is what happens when you try to play God."

"You attempted to transmute a living person?" Sans scowled.

"A dead one." Edward said bluntly, turning his gaze away. Al hunched over, trying to make himself smaller as he munched on. Sans blinked.

"er….mind tellin' me who…." The skeleton said quietly, unsure of his own curiosity.

…

"Our Mother." Ed said after a moment, tightening his hands into fists. He glared down at the countertop, not looking at either Alphonse or Sans.

Sans gulped, then turned away.

He couldn't blame them. Not really. Wanting to bring someone back from the dead wasn't unheard of. Just these boys actually tried to. Sans drummed his fingers over the countertop, putting pieces together.

It must have been Ed's idea.

Al went along with it.

Ed feels guilty for it-

"He has negative LV!" Sans exclaimed out loud, almost toppling over his stool. The entire restaurant gave him confused looks before shrugging and going back to minding their own business. Ed and Al stared at him.

"Er…..What?" Ed asked as Al slowly took another bite of his burger.

Sans blushed a faint cyan, coughing to clear his not-throat once again "er….kinda just had an epiphany is all."

"…Okaaaayyyy….?" Ed muttered, raising an eyebrow. He fidgeted, then eyed the menu "Can we order some more food?"

"huh? oh, yeah." Sans said "knock yerselves out. yo grillz, put it on my tab, will ya?"

Grillby snorted.

"hey, i resent that. i'll pay it back eventually."

* * *

 **Yay! Something happy happened!**

 **Leave a review, por favor.**


	18. Chapter 18

"Congratulations, Roy!" Cheered a rather annoying voice. Roy groaned, rubbing his temple.

"Congratulations for _what,_ Hughes?" Roy muttered, glaring at the man over his desk. Hughes slipped across the room, leaning on Roy's rather cluttered desk and dropping down the paper. Skeptical, Roy picked it up and scanned it.

 _FullMetal Alchemist stops a train hijacking!_

"Again." Roy snorted, he looked up to Hughes "How is this call for congratulations?'

"Well, he's your recruit." Hughes chirped, sitting on the edge of the desktop. "So you get some points whenever he looks good, y'know?"

"I do." Roy smirked, looking back down to the paper. Ed looked rather annoyed, glaring at the camera with a bit of a pout. Behind him, Al waved timidly, and behind _him_ Sans was pictured in mid-snore. A tied group of what he assumed were terrorists was on the ground besides them.

Roy blinked, eyes narrowing as they scanned over the unconscious faces. He felt something caught in his throat. With a look up to Hughes, he just confirmed something was wrong. Hughes smiled, but let a slight glare sneak through the charade.

Roy shrugged, ripping off the photo and pocketing it "I guess I'll put this with the others."

"Ah, yes!" Hughes grinned "The wall of your children's achievements!"

"W-what!?" Roy sputtered, turning red "What the hell are you talking about, Maes!?"

Hughes laughed, throwing his head back "Dontcha worry, Roy! I get ya! Wanting to brag about every single one of their achievements! Face it, you practically have a scrapbook of every time Ed and Al succeeded in something."

"It's for reference!" Roy spat.

"Suuuu _uuuuuuurre_." Hughes grinned slyly. Suddenly his expression dropped. He pushed up his glasses with two fingers, the ceiling light reflecting off the lens. Roy pouted as he knew what was coming next. "Coincidentally….. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF MY DAUGHTER! ISN'T SHE ADORABLE!?"

"I'm WORKING, Maes!" Roy snapped.

"And now you're looking at picture of MYYYY DAUGHTER!" he said in sing-song.

Roy pouted, slouching in his seat. He gave his lieutenant a silent cry for help that when ignored.

Eventually, both Hughes's rant and the work day came to an end. Roy trotted out of the main building, peaking at the newspaper clipping he had taken earlier. His eyes once again drifted to the group of tied men.

On his way home, Roy stopped by a bar.

"Hey, Ladies!" He grinned as he threw open the door.

"Hey Roy~!" A chorus of greetings rang out. Roy greeted each lady individually, trotting over to his usual place at the bar's counter. Behind it, a rather large woman smiled at him.

"Heya, Roy." She rasped, pulling her cigar away from her mouth "What brings you here today, hm?"'

"Oh, just wanted to drop by." Roy said with a smile, casually slipping the picture from his coat and sliding it over to the woman. "Figured you'd want to see this?"

The bartender, Madam Christmas, took the photo up between her fingers. She shot Roy a mischievous smirk. "Braggin' bout your kids again?"

"THEY'RE NOT MY KIDS!" Roy barked. A chorus of giggles sounded behind him as his face grew red. He cleared his throat and said quietly "But in all seriousness…."

"I'll look into it." Madam Christmas said, sliding the photo into the bar counter. She smiled at him "So do you actually want to _order_ something, or….?"

"Nah, just wanted to drop by." Roy smirked. He pushed up from the counter, waving to the assemble of ladies there "Have a good night, girls."

"Good Night, Roy~!" They all chirped. As soon as the door shut behind him, they exchanged looks with each other. One woman, a girl with caramel hair and a purple dress, trotted over to Madam Christmas.

"What're we looking into?" She said.

Madam Christmas slid her the photo. Another woman, one with green eyes and brown hair, stared wide-eyed.

"Hey, Vanessa…." She said "Weren't those the same terrorists that were arrested like, a month ago?"

"It is." Vanessa nodded, her mouth set into a frown. "There's no way they should be out all ready."

"It's something worth looking into then, isn't it?" The Madam said with a smirk. The ladies nodded, resolve glinting in their eyes.

"Roy better buy us dinner for this." A woman, Alice, murmured. The rest of the girls nodded solemnly. Although none of them meant it.

…

"Lemme see that picture!" Alice chirped, snatching the photo. She smiled brightly "It's so cute how he scrapbooks Ed and Al's accomplishments!"

"And he says they're not his kids." Vanessa snorted.

* * *

There was a strong pull, urging him to come home. Urging him to come back. Much like when Flowey had appeared, back when the Barrier was still standing, and everything went white. Back then, in the vast nothingness, there was a pull. A tug at his SOUL that helped him find his way towards his brother.

His brother….

 _pap?_

"SANS!" Papyrus yelped, lurching upwards from where he lied. Despite not having lungs, he breathed heavily. Chest rising and falling to calm his pulsing SOUL. Of course, Sans wasn't there. But… "OH, HELLO PHYLLIS!"

The man snorted, turning his back towards him as he muttered under his breath, scribbling something on a pad of paper. Phyllis was a human, from what Papyrus had gather. And maybe all humans were like this, but he was tall and lanky, with straw-like blonde hair and deep-set brown eyes. His skin was pale, or maybe that was just the lighting.

Papyrus sat cross-legged on the floor, drumming his fingers along the surface of his leg bones. His scarf's color had faded to a dull pink, and it smelled rank and was in dire need of a good washing. His hosts, however, would have none of that. They insisted that he did not even need the scarf, but being as great as he was, Papyrus convinced them to let him keep it. It was a gift from Sans, after all. So it was very important.

"EXCUSE ME, PHYLLIS?" Papyrus blinked, following the man's movements with his empty eye sockets. Phyllis snorted, rubbing his fingers against his temple.

"What?" He muttered.

"WHEN CAN I GO HOME?" the skeleton asked with a slight tilt of his head. Phyllis grinded his teeth together, turning and stalking to the bars of his room like Undyne when someone told a fish pun.

"Didn't we have this conversation _before?"_ He hissed.

"TWENTY-TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-SIX TIMES." Papyrus chirped "WELL, NOW IT'S TWENTY-TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN."

"I don't CARE!" Phyllis barked, kicking the bars so they shook with a metallic clang. Papyrus flinched back, turning his skull against the yell. After a moment or two, he forced a shaky grin.

"THEN WHY DID YOU BRING IT UP?" he asked, trying to ignore the bead sweat that dribbled down his skull.

"Would you _SHUT UP!?"_

"BUT-" this time a loud _CRACK_ interrupted him as his skull jerked to the side. He whimpered, pressing his bare hand to his cheekbone and rubbing gently. Phyllis grumbled, shaking off his hand and turning his glare elsewhere.

Papyrus tilted his skull, focusing his eye sockets on the stone floor instead. He pressed his free hand to his sternum, right over where his SOUL was housed and tried to calm it's racing pulse. Tears pricked at the corners of his eye sockets but he fought them back with a curt shake of his head.

"PHYLLIS, PLEASE. MY BROTHER IS PROBABLY VERY WORRIED AND, I'LL ADMIT, I'M NOT THE MOST COMFORTABLE IN HERE." He said slowly, his attention focused on the man's hand.

Phyllis grumbled something. He turned on heel, throwing open the iron door and letting it slam shut behind him with a deafening _BANG._ Papyrus flinched. Then listened as Phyllis footsteps grew further and further away. The skeleton sighed, leaning back against the cold wall and summoning up enough magic to ease the pain in his cheek.

His brother would have to make do without him for a little while yet.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Oh my, the plot thickens. Also I managed to put in some ParentalRoy, following a headcannon I have. (That Roy Scrapbooks Ed and Al's achievements).**


	19. Chapter 19

"They were promptly released soon after their arrest." Vanessa reported.

Roy frowned, leaning back into the couch cushions.

The two were at his house, a coffee table set in between them with tea cups and small sandwiches. Vanessa sipped at her tea gingerly, peering at Roy over its handle. Roy closed his eyes, murmuring over the information he was just given.

The men Edward had arrested were part of some sort of anti-monster group. This was not their first offense, as they have struck several times around the town of Ebon, but they were constantly released for their crimes. As it happened to be, this time was no different. With only two days spent in custody, they were once again released under the claim that their 'crimes' held no merit, as no one believes that these 'monsters' exist.

Roy's eyes darted back to the papers Vanessa had brought.

The group was released on pardon from a general stationed near Ebon, several times. A man in his forties, with a bushy white moustache and wrinkled forehead. General Kent.

…"How possible is it you could get me a list of the trains' passengers?" Roy asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Very." Vanessa chirped "I'll get on it, Roy-Boy!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

* * *

Well, this lead was a bust. Once again, the Philosopher's Stone was set as rumor to lure alchemists to a madman. And when Ed and Al bluntly refused to work with the man, he graciously dropped them down a trap door. So not only did the Elric brothers waste their time, but now they were locked in a cellar with killer chimeras.

"Crap!" Ed shouted as he leapt above the swipe of razor-sharp claws. The next instant he ducked underneath a set of barbed teeth, and the moment after that he was knocked into the far wall by the lash of a thick tail.

"Ed-!" Al yelped. He hurdled over another creature, skidding in a semi-circle to catch the chimera's bared teeth in the iron of his armor. Ed took the opportunity to jump off of Al's shoulders, diving down at the chimera with his armblade outstretched. The beast let out a pain shriek as it stumbled back, foaming at the mouth. With a swift kick upward, Ed sent the creature backwards. From his right another chimera roared, pouncing at him.

Edward jumped back away from its claws when suddenly he felt something catch on his ankle. With a yelp, the blond fell to the ground. The chimera was on him in an instant-

The beast let out a pain shriek as it stumbled back, foaming at the mouth. With a swift kick upward, Ed sent the creature backwards. From his right another chimera roared, pouncing at him.

Ed quickly reacted, breaking through his daze to leap off to the side instead of back. Alphonse quickly downed the creature with a hearty punch to the face. Several minutes later, the cellar was calm but filled with unconscious beasts.

Ed panted heavily, wiping his wrist along his brow. His golden eyes flickered to where he had tripped before. But all he could see there was a split second of green that slivered down into the ground.

"You okay, brother?" Al asked, one gauntlet on the elder brother's shoulder.

"I'm fine." Ed said, brushing the hand off. A nerve bulged on his head as he growled through his teeth "Let's go kick ass!"

Al nodded.

About ten minutes later, the Chimera Man was in police custody. Ed and Al sighed, allowing themselves to relax ever-so-slightly.

"great job, FullMetal." Said a drowsy voice. Ed jumped, startled by the sudden appearance of a certain disguised skeleton.

"Mr. Sans!" Al exclaimed "What are you doing here?"

"a little flower told me you two were in trouble. i was on my way to help…." He shrugged "but ya seem to have it handled."

"…a flower?" Al blinked.

"Oh! You mean Flowey?" Ed said, looking around for the plant "Is it okay for him to be poking around here? What if someone sees him?"

As the blond spoke, something wriggled in Sans's hood. And a small yellow-framed face popped out of the fur.

"I'm good, thanks." Flowey said.

"Oh…Hello, Flowey." Al greeted.

"Heya weed." Ed smirked.

"hey, I call 'im that too." Sans chuckled "or sprout."

"Ha." Flowey spat, clearly not amused "Ha Ha Ha."

"HAHAHAHA-" Sans randomly blurted out, harshly shoving the flower back into his coat. His pinprick pupils tracked the movement of two officers who gave him a confused stare. His perpetual grin stiff, Sans muttered "maybe we should move this conversation elsewhere?"

"Oh. Right." Ed nodded "Anywhere particular in mind?"

"actually, yes." Sans said, finally moving his hand away from his hood. "Ed, buddy, pal…."

Ed blinked "Er….what?"

Sans stared at him a long moment. His grin flat. Ed felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. But Sans just shrugged.

"nothin'. Say, the two of you wanna go to grillby's again?"

"YES!" Al said a bit too loudly. He'd have blushed if he was capable, instead settling for hunching over awkwardly "Yes, please."

Ed tilted his head, smiling fondly at Alphonse. He shrugged "Yeah okay. No eating my food again, Al."

"Wha- C'mon Ed!" Al whined, shuffling his feet. Ed chuckled mischievously.

"y'can have the plant's food." Sans offered.

"LAME." Flowey shouted from inside the hood. Sans laughed, then offered his hand to the boys. He gave a wink.

"c'mon, i know a shortcut." He said. Ed and Al exchanged a glance. Al shrugged and took his hand, and the skeleton's other hand shot out to grab onto Ed. There was a flash of blue, and suddenly they were in front of the monster restaurant.

"YOU CAN TELEPORT!?" Ed exclaimed, eyes wide. Sans's hitched an eyebrow.

"yeh. haven't we been over that?"

"But it's still weird." Ed pouted.

"ah shucks, yer makin' me blush." Sans beamed, yanking off his mask of bandages. Pocketing it, he lead the way inside, the two boys following behind. Upon entering, they heard again all the greetings the establishment had for Sans, as well as one or two 'welcome backs' for Ed and Al. Ed hardly paid attention to that, however, as his attention was focused on the flower.

Flowey was craned over to the side of Sans's head, petals blocking his face. Despite that, the hushed sounds of whispers and murmurs were heard. The words themselves were too distant to make out, but how the flower's eyes darted to Ed a time or two implied he was the subject of their conversation.

Ed tried not to make his glaring too obvious as they sat down. Sans seemed to place himself between the boys, the flower chatting with Al so he didn't seem to notice anything strange. Ed felt himself go cold and tried to not to make eye contact. When he looked up to order, he found Grillby frozen in place. A quick glance around revealed that no one else was moving either.

No one but Sans.

"heya, pal." Sans hummed, taking a bottle of ketchup out of his hoodie.

"What the hell did you do!?" Ed snapped, reaching around Sans to give Al a gentle tap.

"relax, it's nothin' _bad."_ Sans said as he sipped out of his bottle "just a pocket in time."

"A what?"

"er….a little bubble in time. where no time is flowing." Sans muttered, scratching the side of his face "it's pretty complicated."

"All right." Ed muttered "So how do I get out of it?"

"y'get out when i let ya, kiddo." Sans shrugged. He had one eye open to view the look of pure rage that flashed across Edward's face. He quickly fanned the blond down "chill! chill! i ain't gonna keep ya here! i just need to ask ya somethin'."

"THEN STOP BEING CRYPTIC AND ASK ALREADY!" Ed snapped.

"yeesh." Sans pouted "all right. so….this is probably gonna sound a bit weird. but…this….this isn't your first time messing _with_ time, is it?"

"What?" Ed mumbled "What're you talking about?"

Sans pointed one boney finger to Ed "Y'can RESET, can't ya?"

…

"What the fuck is Reseting?" Ed muttered.

Sans's grin turned awkward "er…. a backwards skip in time."

"A…." Ed's eyes widened "….Oh."

"so you can?" Sans asked with a tilt of his skull. Ed slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure I can," he explained "But I just thought I was crazy or something- Wait, how did you know?"

"well…." Sweat beaded on his skull "…..the plant remembers those little skips through time, right? And..he, uh,….kinda killed ya back there."

"…What."

Sans leaned on one hand, pouting "well, not directly. he said he tripped ya and the chimera got ya by the throat."

Ed shuddered, then took a deep breath. He met Sans's eyesockets. "Yeah. That happened."

"and then it happened again," Sans said.

"Yeah," Ed muttered "So….those are called RESETs? How do they work? Why am I able to use them? Can anyone else-"

"woah, slow down bucko." Sans said, holding his hands up in the air. "too many questions. one at a time."

Ed snorted "Why am I able to use them?"

Sans stuffed his hands in his pockets, leaning back.

"y'got something special, kid. somethin' called 'DETERMINATION'."


	20. Chapter 20

"y'got somethin' special, kid. somethin' called 'DETERMINATION'."

…

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Ed said with a pout.

Sans's grin tightened. He sighed "yeesh kiddo, y'just can't let me be dramatic for half a second, can ya?"

"I want answers, not theatrics!" Ed spat "If 'determination' is all ya need to do time travel stuff, then _anyone_ can do it, right? I mean, YOU clearly manipulate time."

"er…. well, yeah, it's a bit more complicated than just being determined…" Sans mumbled, scratching the side of his face "it's a lot of variables, actually. like, too many and too complicated to actually list. my point is, you meet the criteria."

"Okay…." Ed frowned "So….you do too, is what I'm getting."

Sans laughed. A hearty, yet bitter chortle that shook through his bones. He hunched over on the countertop, smacking the surface with a balled fist. "nah, nah….listen kiddo, DETERMINATION is one of those essentials y'need to have. i don't."

"Okay….say I believe that." Ed jabbed a finger to Sans's chest "How do you find these weird time-bubbles?"

"Long story." Sans said simply. Ed snarled, flailing his arms about.

"Well TELL me it!"

"nah." Sans shrugged. "kid, let's get back on track here, okay? i gotta tell ya some things….and ask for a favor."

The last statement caught Edward's attention. He tilted his head. Sans took another swig of ketchup, his eye sockets staring vacantly into nothing.

"A little neat trick about DETERMINATION, y'haven't really used it, so I ain't sure you can…. but …." he grimaced, as if speaking about it was painful "Y'can go back. In time. To not just before you die, but further than that."

"I can?" Ed gasped, his eyes widening. He leaned forward, a glare quickly taking over his expression. "How?"

Sans met that glare. And his face made Ed's heart sink. It was tired. Very, very tired. Staring at him face-to-face, Ed could see the dirt speckled over his otherwise white skull. The way his face dipped in underneath his eye sockets, like bags underneath his eyes. The corners of his perpetual grin twisted downwards.

Sans sighed and took another sip of ketchup " i dunno the details myself, i just know y'can. And if y'can…." he looked away "i want ya to go back. to before my brother was taken." His gaze flicked over to Al "this seems like it was 'round the same time anyway. so, we both win. we both get our brothers back."

Ed stared at him a moment before his lips creased to a frown. "How do you know all this?"

Sans chuckled, shaking his head "Plant's not the only one that remembers."

Ed's golden eyes burrowed into his SOUL. Sans took another swig of ketchup, pushing the two of them back into the flow of time. Everyone in the restaurant started to move again and sound and smells quickly filled Edward's senses.

"i'd 'ppreciate it, kiddo." he said and dropped the subject, turning to Alphonse and asking him what he'd like to eat.

Edward sat back in his seat, staring blankly at the menu in front of him. He could go back. He could stop himself and Alphonse from ruining their lives. He could get Sans's brother back home. He could stop Nina from dying. He could change _so many things._

Ed felt the world melt away around him as he lost himself in thought.

If he started to manipulate time for good reasons, what if he started to for bad reasons?

 _ ***But you could save them all! Just this once, Edward! Just this once!**_

Ed shook his head, smacking himself on either side of his face. It was almost as if a foreign voice spoke to him for a moment, one he desperately wanted to listen to. But did he really trust himself with that?

 _ ***For your BROTHER, Ed!**_

For Al….would he stay on the straight and narrow? With that power, would he still insist on being the best person he could be?

Even if he wanted to, it struck him hard that maybe he couldn't. If DETERMINATION or whatever the hell it was was the key to the whole time-travel thing, then he couldn't go back to before the Human Transmutation. He knew he was a stubborn kid, yeah. But he didn't have such a strong sense of purpose until after….

Even he knew that.

 _ ***Then for Papyrus?**_

Ed didn't think he could go that far back. He steeled himself and nudged Sans. When the skell gave him a lazy grin all he said was:

"I can't."

Sans grin dropped a notch. He shrugged and turned away. And maybe Ed imagined it, but he seemed to have relaxed. Maybe he had the same fears Ed had. Maybe it was just one solution discovered null. Maybe it was a cover. Whatever it was, Ed ignored it and ordered a burger.

* * *

"So General Kent was on the train when the attack happened…." Roy hummed.

He was sitting in his living room. Vanessa sat across from him, sipping some tea while behind him Riza stood at attention, arms crossed behind her back. Hughes sat next to Vanessa, munching silently on a cracker.

"Seems so." Vanessa chirped. She quirked an eyebrow "...You're getting a hunch, aren't you?"

"I am." Roy nodded. He cupped his chin in between his thumb and index finger, a thoughtful expression molding his features. "Hughes, do you know what facilities the General is in charge of?"

"Er….not on the top of my head…." Hughes frowned "I know a guy who works for him, though. Name's Phyllis."

Riza made a face "I've had a run in or two with him."

"An asshole from what I've heard." Roy snorted. He dismissed that particular topic "Hughes, I need you to get as much information from him as possible. But don't be too obvious."

"You offend me." Hughes said, dramatically pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. He rolled his eyes, getting to his feet as he dusted himself off. "Yeah, I'll get on it."

Roy nodded "Good. If you get anything out of him, any names, tell Vanessa. Her and the others will get whatever information they can."

"Yessir." Vanessa snorted, giving a lax salute.

"And…." Roy ignored her "If you hear ANYTHING about Papyrus, tell me as soon as possible. I'll get it across to Sans as quickly as I can."

"Sir." Riza said with a salute "If you don't mind me asking, what if we pinpoint his location?"

Roy shook his head "Trying to get him out ourselves would beat our reputations to the ground. I want to get Papyrus out of whatever situation he's in, but certain plans require us to be trusted. So no, we don't do anything. We just happen by when an angry smart-mouthed skeleton invades whatever place Papyrus may be kept at."

Riza nodded "Understood."

"I'm on it." Hughes said.

"I'll tell the girls." Vanessa added.

"Good. Now get to work!"

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Been a while since an update. Why? Because I had no idea where to go to next! Ha ha ha! Anyway… Hope ya enjoyed. Leave a review if ya got the time.**


	21. Chapter 21

Ed, Al, and Sans arrived back at Central not too long after their short stay at Ebott Town. Ed and Al almost immediately dismissed themselves, heading towards their apartment. The boys had accumulated quite a large amount of monster snackfoods. Chisps, donuts, whatever they could get their hands on. All for Alphonse, of course. Despite that relief, they were still eager to find a way to regain what they lost. So after they rest up, they were heading straight to the library.

Sans waved them off, once again donning his disguise. Once they were out of sight, he allowed himself a bit of a sigh.

"the one time i wanted a RESET, hm…." Sans muttered to himself. He rolled his shoulders back, satisfied in hearing them crack.

He'll admit, he was relieved in a way.

Sans thought to himself as he strolled through Central City, only half paying attention to everything going on around him.

RESETs was still a thing he dreaded, but he'll admit he had hoped for one. He confronted Frisk after Papyrus had gone missing, demanding to know why the kid hadn't gone back. 'Don't you care for him?' he had demanded. The child started to tear up as they choked out two words.

" _I can't."_

Edward had said that too. He downright refused to go back. Admirable in its own way, clearly the boy was uneasy about this power he didn't even know he had. Or maybe he just didn't think he could go that far back?

Let's see…. Frisk was eight when they all got out of the underground. That was three years ago. Three years ago for Ed was when he was….eleven? What was what triggered his DETERMINATION then?

Sans shook his head. That was a stupid question. Of course it was his brother losing his body.

"Sans." said a familiar voice, snapping the skeleton out of his thoughts. Sans turned to see Roy standing there, his black coat on his shoulders, arms crossed across his chest, looking eerily serious.

" 'sup, roy boy?" Sans chirped.

"I need to talk to you." Roy said, not acknowledging the nickname. "Somewhere private."

"eh? alright then." Sans muttered, scratching the side of his face "lead the way."

Roy lead him through back alleys and roads, weaving in between dumpsters and ducking under clotheslines. Going through broken fences and stepping over garbage cans. Eventually, they came across a small, run-down looking shed.

Roy beckoned Sans inside. Once the door was shut behind him, Roy said:

"We found him."

Sans would've choked had he a throat "...you found Papyrus!?"

Roy nodded "It took some interrogating, but we found him. We had assumed he'd be kept in a lab were he in military custody, but it turns out he was being kept in one of the Warehouses."

"Which one?" Sans demanded, his left eye flickering blue.

"Easy, Sans." Roy said "You can't just walk in-"

"Yes I can." Sans interrupted. "I'll ask again- WHICH. ONE."

"Sans, get a hold of yourself!" Roy snapped, glowering down at him "Okay, maybe YOU can. But can your brother just walk out?"

"I can warp him out!"

"...Warp?" Roy blinked.

"Yeah. Teleport. I can do that." Sans snarled.

"Hm." Roy frowned, crossing his arms "That makes things a lot easier as to getting him out."

"So what Warehouse is he in?" Sans said again.

"Okay, easy." Roy said "I got some other things to say."

"EASY!?" Sans quoted, his voice breaking out of its usual monotone "I found my brother after THREE FUCKING YEARS, and you're telling me to go EASY!?"

"Yes." Roy said flatly. "Listen, Sans, I get you want to get him out. But if you charge in, you'll only make things worse. Listen to me."

Sans reluctantly obliged, smothering the blue flame that was burning out his eye socket. "All right, what things do I need to keep in mind?"

"One." Roy said, holding up a finger "If you go in how you are now, you'll draw the blame to me. If that happens, my plans are busted. And if my plans are busted, then you can say goodbye to the idea of monsters being able to live peacefully. Two" he held up another finger "If you just charge in as your normal self, people are going to have an even stronger fear of monsters."

"...which means more trouble for them." Sans sighed, rubbing at his face "okay, i getcha. So….how do we get Papyrus out?"

"I got a plan." Roy said "Firstly, I'll stop by for an 'inspection'. That way I can comb through the building to find out where exactly Papyrus is in it. Then, a distraction."

"From who?" Sans blinked "If it's me, that'll draw attention back to you. Or if it's me, it'll make more animosity towards monsters."

"Well, attention will be drawn to someone. But it's not either of us." Roy hummed "In short, we figured out one or more of those hijackers from the train you and the Elrics were on may be in that Warehouse. If so….well, we're going to bring Edward and if he sees one of them…"

Sans grinned, chuckling "You're using ED as the distraction?"

"Well, yes." Roy shrugged. He sighed "But we can't tell him the reason for it. If I drag him into a random inspection, that'll get his temper up already. If we tell him the reason, he'll probably take it too seriously for one of his tantrums to be too distracting. Once Ed's raving like an idiot, you come in, get your brother, and get out of the building….. How far can you teleport?"

"Pretty far if I'm by myself." Sans said "With Papyrus…..well, I can get a few blocks away easily."

"Noted. I'll tell the Lieutenant to wait further away. She'll be there with a car you and Papyrus can hop into, then she'll take you somewhere safe. Papyrus will have to lie low for a while, until the mess is sorted out. Then we'll smuggle him out of the city. From there, you'll have to take him to Mount Ebott."

Sans nodded "Alright."

It was a jarring few days before they could put the plan to action. Sans was uncharacteristically restless, pacing and fidgeting the entire time. He barely even slept. The cue for the plan to start was one day when Roy said to Ed….

"By the way, today you'll be coming with me to inspect Warehouse Seven."

"WHAT!?" Ed snapped "C'mon, Mustang! I got shit to do!"

"And you'll have to do it AFTERWARDS, Edward." Roy snapped back "It'll be quick, just shut up and let's go."

"Wait, right now?" Al asked.

Roy nodded. "Yes, pretty much."

"Leave it to Colonel Jackass to bring this up last minute…" Ed muttered.

"Alphonse, I need you to stay behind for this." Roy said.

"WHAT!?"

"Brother, calm down." Al said. He nodded his helmet "Alright, Colonel. Ed, I'll be at the apartment."

Ed pout "Fine."

And away they went. Sans made an excuse to leave, following the small group from a distance. When they got to the warehouse, he watched from outside. Quickly, he changed his coat from the military jacket to a simple brown jacket, and the pants he switched out for casual sweatpants. He flipped the hood up of his jacket to cover his head. This way, at a passing glance, no one could tell who he was.

He heard the next cue, which was, in short, Ed yelling. So he quickly warped in and tracked down Roy, who subtly motioned which direction to go in. Quickly and quietly, Sans made his way down the maze of stone halls. Down a flight of stairs into an even danker hallway, and through what seemed to be a cellar. He scowled at the thought of someone keeping his brother in these conditions.

His SOUL lightened at the familiar sound of ridiculously loud humming.

"Papyrus!" Sans grinned, warping the short distance between them.

"SANS!?" Papyrus gasped, scooping his brother up quickly into a near-strangling hug. "HELLO BROTHER! IT'S BEEN QUITE A WHILE, HASN'T IT!?"

"H-heh heh!" Sans sputtered, returning the hug "too long, bro!"

Papyrus grinned happily as he placed Sans back down on his feet. He tilted his skull.

"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?"

Sans grinned "clothes."

Papyrus groaned. Sans's grin grew wider. After three years of who-knows-what, Papyrus still stayed the same. Sans offered his hand.

"'Kay bro, let's go-GAH!" Sans was cut off by being knocked over the head with a thick slab of wood.

"BROTHER!" Papyrus yelped, catching the small skeleton as he collapsed like a load of bricks. He held the elder brother close to his chest, staring up at the man who had hit him. A flash of anger crossed Papyrus's face. "PHYLLIS! THAT WAS INCREDIBLY RUDE!"

"Whatever." Phyllis snorted "So your brother came for you, hm….? What timing…." Papyrus's eye sockets darted to stare behind the man as he muttered to himself. Phyllis had left to door slightly open in his haste to knock Sans out.

Papyrus's figurative heart sank at the thought of Sans being kept here. He swallowed nervously.

"SORRY, PHYLLIS!" he said, swiftly kneeing Phyllis in the stomach. The man keeled over, spitting out saliva as he collapsed to the ground. Papyrus jumped over the man, practically kicking down the door as he sprinted out carrying Sans.

Papyrus heard yelling coming from upstairs. And though he'd rather not run into anyone else here, he couldn't see any other way out. So up the stairs he went, going up the steps by twos, and he broke into the upper level of the building. There, he saw a small child yelling angrily, which was cut short as his eyes darted over to them.

"What the hell….?" Ed said, staring.

"Shit." Roy muttered quietly. He nudged Ed, who quickly clapped his hands, throwing them onto the ground. Lightning and dust swirled about, obscuring the vision of anyone in the room. Papyrus squinted, struggling to see when he felt a hand grip his arm.

Still holding Sans close to him, he followed the lead of whoever was dragging him. And another clap, a creaking of a door, and they were outside!

"WOWIE! HELLO SUN!" Papyrus grinned "LONG TIME NO SEE- OH WHERE ARE WE GOING!?"

Edward had Papyrus by the arm, dragging him along. "Hush! Keep quiet!"

"OH- Er...okay!" Papyrus chirped. He then blinked "Where are we going?"

"No clue." Ed frowned. "Listen, you got to be quiet, and we got to stay hidden, all right?" His yellow eyes darted to the unconscious Sans, then to Papyrus "...You're Papyrus, right?"

"Oh, yes I am! I see you are a fan." Papyrus hummed happily.

"A….fan?" Ed blinked. He shook it off "No, listen, Sans told me about you. I'm going to keep you safe, alright? Just do as I say."

"Yessir, Mr. Person Sir!" Papyrus said "So, you know Sans?"

"Yeah."

"I am sorry that you had to hear his jokes."

Ed chortled, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep quiet. "Alright, alright. Just follow me. And stay quiet."

Papyrus did. And they made their way silently through town. Eventually though, they came to a dead end with all the alley ways they were going through. And behind them was the stomping of boots.

Ed clapped his hands, drawing his arm out into a blade. "Papyrus, get behind me."

"Yessir!" Papyrus chirped, doing as he was told. Ed glared at the approaching footsteps. And as it turned out, he had no reason to worry at all.

"Colonel!" Ed grinned, for once happy to see the man.

"FullMetal." Roy said, he looked up at Papyrus "Papyrus, right?"

"Wowie! I have so many fans." Papyrus smiled.

"Fans…?"

"Don't question it." Ed waved him off. His expression then melted to a pout "Wait….did you just use me as a decoy?"

"Pretty much." Roy nodded "You did a good job too."

"Decoy?" Papyrus blinked "Decoy for what?"

"To get you out." Roy explained, as Ed fumed in silent rage "Your brother was really worried about you."

"I know." Papyrus sighed, hugging Sans to him "Um….Phyllis hit him over the head, is he going to be okay?"

"Oh….uh….let me see." Roy said. Papyrus nodded, gently laying Sans on the ground. Roy carefully unwrapped the bandages from the monster's skull. After a quick inspection, Roy gave a short nod "I think he'll be okay."

"That's a relief!" Papyrus chirped, hugging Sans tightly. The hug apparently was so tight, it woke the small skeleton up. Groggily, he blinked his eye sockets a few times. And stared.

"...P….Papyrus?"

"YES, BROTHER!" Papyrus went back to his usual volume all of a sudden "IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRU- BROTHER, YOU'RE CRYING!"

Blue tears streaked down Sans's face, although his grin was wide and seemed genuine. He threw his arms around his brother, drawing him in close.

"i missed you, bro."

Papyrus hugged him back.

"I MISSED YOU TOO."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **The End!**

 **Just kidding, there's a lot of things that're gonna happen still. Hope you're looking forward to it! And leave a review if ya got the time, please!**


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